Taken Beyond Your Control
by lilred-07
Summary: "Shh, no more talking," and then quite firmly did he press his heated lips upon mine. Original, Dark, and that perfect amount of smut. What could possibly be better? R
1. Unrelenting Stares

**A/N**: I definitely do not own Harry Potter. Got it?

* * *

"He's looking at you again" Ashanti whispered in my ear.

I didn't bother to glance at the boy who had been staring at me all throughout breakfast. Was it such a crime to sit next to your boyfriend at breakfast? Apparently yes, and being that the answer is in the affirmative the proper reprimand is a death stare via Black. Except the glare wasn't directed at me, oh no, it was pointed at my boyfriend Jeremy. He also seemed to be clued in about the crime, or maybe it was just that Black's stare was so insistent and constant that he could feel the holes be burned into the back of his head. Needless to say Jeremy wasn't pleased. Jeremy, my boyfriend of almost 2 months, stabbed his sausage viciously. I sighed and bit my lip out of habit when I started to get anxious. To say that Jeremy disliked Black was an understatement. But it wasn't as if I was Black's biggest fan either, hardly, he was like my own personal stalker. Luckily I had Jeremy by my side to keep him at bay. I would describe our relationship as fairly steady, but Black was certainly pushing it to its limits. Jeremy would get so jealous and testy, but Black just wouldn't back off. Another sausage was feeling the wrath of Jeremy's annoyance.

"Jeremy…"

"Don't Ryleigh," Jeremy said setting down his fork. His hand ran through his hair as he blew out a long stream of air. Just as he was about to say more it seemed as if he decided better and instead turned to the person next to him. My shoulders slumped and I continued to worry my bottom lip between my teeth before I pushed around the food on my plate.

"Okay…well I'm just gonna go back over to my table then." I said pushing myself up and grabbing my bags. Jeremy barely acknowledged me, his own girlfriend! Unbelievable, and how completely immature! Just to spite him as I walked past him I made sure my book bag hit him upside the head. Jeremy muttered a curse but my vengeance was appeased. It served him right, we couldn't keep avoiding the problem, or the tension that was building between us. A small smile of comfort found its way upon my lips as I sat down by one of my good mates Lily.

"Hello." She said absently reading a book. I cocked my head to the side and leaned on the table a bit to read the cover. '_Quidditch Throughout the Ages'_, I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Since when are _you_ into Quidditch?" I asked as I grabbed a piece of toast and spread some marmalade on it. Lily blushed, her long red hair falling in front of her face. Snickering as she attempted to tell me an excuse I took a large bite out of my breakfast. But her sneaking glances at Potter weren't exactly sneaky and I couldn't help but choke a bit on my food. Lily patted me on the back, finally putting her book down to pass me a cup of tea. My fit ended, but as I chanced a look over at the marauders, seated down a ways from us, I was met with the grey orbs of one Sirius Black. Choking and spluttering once more the hot tea was spat from my mouth.

"Seriously, are you okay?" Lily asked now handing me a napkin. I nodded my head, turning away from his gaze. Once I had composed myself I let out a steady breath and looked over at Black again. He wore that damn insufferable smirk on his face as he continued to stare at me. I glared at him and turned away. That damn Black hadn't left me alone since the beginning of this year because I said I didn't want to go out with him. Mainly because I had a boyfriend, but Black didn't seem to find this as a suitable reason to say no. So now he was annoyingly persistent in his quest to make me his girlfriend. His main tactic seemed to be hassling me constantly and never leaving me alone.

Every time I tried to hid, or be alone with Jeremy, he always found us. I barely ever got alone time now, without him coming around sooner or later. My sanctuary had become the girls' dormitory, where he couldn't come. Most likely the reason why was because he couldn't find a way to get in yet. Unfortunately, most of the time my other room mates were up there, and we just didn't mesh well, except for Lily. I would try and seek refuge with her because the balls on that girl were bigger than any man's could be. She was an intimidating little thing, and she never hesitated to threaten Black and Potter to stay away from us. And a threat from Lily Evans wasn't to be taken lightly considering her Jelly-Leg Jinx was just plain cruel. But lately, there was something different about Lily, very different. For example, when I would try and seek protection from my stalker, who nine times out of ten would bring Potter along, no threats or Jelly-Leg Jinxes would occur! Sometimes she would actually converse with Potter. All signs pointed to one horrible conclusion.

"Does you reading this book have anything to do with your new friendship with Potter?" I asked Lily. She didn't answer but only blushed more and sent a shy smile at Potter who had turned to look our way.

"No!" I gasped.

"It's not as bad as you think" her eyes widened.

"You've hated him-" my index finger pointed accusingly at her.

"I haven't hated him-" she insisted shaking her head.

"Since our first year-"

"More like…greatly disliked"

"And now your…"

"He's different!"

"Different? Different how? I still see him and his group of friends terrorizing the first and second years."

"But he doesn't do it a lot anymore. He's changing I know it." Lily pleaded with me.

"Ugh," I scrunched my nose and looked away, "whatever," then taking another bite of my toast I ended the conversation. Today was not starting off so well. Looking towards the watch on my wrist I realized class would be starting in about 15 minutes and left, trying not to draw any attention to my parting.

Note to self: falling does draw attention to you…unless you're really quiet when you do it.

I groaned inwardly as I stumbled over the uneven floor, losing my balance and tumbling forward with momentum. Eyes firmly shut my hands shot out in front of me to break my fall, the books which had occupied them spilling to the ground.

I was ready for the impact of the cold stone on my hands and knees, but found myself caught around the waist. My eyes opened and I was hauled up into someone's lap.

"Remus!" I smiled brightly at him. He was the only one out of the marauders that I could truly stand. "My hero" he chuckled and grinned at me good naturedly.

"I was wondering where the bacon had gone to," I said taking a piece of his bacon while simultaneously taking out my wand with the other. "Accio books," the books settled onto my lap neatly and thoughtlessly I decided to finish off as much bacon as I could before Remus would scold me. And until the scolding happened I found it in my best interest to keep quiet. Too bad the bacon was crispy.

"You know," I said turning to look at Black, "it's rude to stare." sending him a vicious glare. He grinned at me foolishly before leaning towards me.

"Busy this Friday?"

"As a matter of fact I am. Not that it's any of your business." I twisted my head up in the air a fraction, my glare hardly fading.

"You sure 'bout that love? Seeing as how I figure you're going to be my girl soon enough. You would think it was only right that I know where you are. A man's got to look after his possessions and such. Make sure their safe. Know where they belong at all times." My jaw dropped in outrage before I pushed myself off of Remus' lap and stood proud and straight across from Black.

"First off don't call me love. Second, I am not, nor will I ever be, _your_ girl, and if you honestly think that you must be thicker than I thought. And lastly, if there was any remote chance that I was to be your girlfriend the way you obviously think of women as possession is disgusting. I would never date such a caveman, grow up and sod off!" Black's eyes were ablaze and my cheeks burned as the blood rushed through them. Then, before he had a chance to retort I stood up clumsily and walked away.

"How was charms class?" asked Jeremy as he walked me to lunch. I scrunched up my nose in distaste at the subject.

"Okay I guess. It's not really my forte." I let out a sigh as Jeremy laughed throwing an arm over my shoulder and pulling me to him. I leaned into his warm embrace and smiled. I loved these simple displays of affection.

"If you wouldn't mind taking your arm off my girl O'Connell that would be positively fantastic." called the faux enthusiastic voice of Black.

"Oh Merlin, please not today" I muttered under my breath. "Just keep walking Jeremy, please." I said looking at him with pleading eyes. I could see that small vein on the side of his neck throb slightly. Shit.

"Let me take care of this Ryleigh." He said turning around and blocking me from Blacks view.

Boys.

But then again…Black had seemed more intense as of late. His glances and stares were more, biting. And yet, it wasn't as if I was use to his stares to know the difference. It was just that I'm pretty sure _everyone_ could tell something was off with him. I think Peter commented on it once in passing. Maybe it was best to let Jeremy take the lead. I was tired of my run-ins with Black.

I was about as used to Blacks persistence as I was to the affection and attention I was paid to by Jeremy. Jeremy was my first boyfriend, my first kiss. He'd been a first of all of things for me, and then to have Black's attention. _Ugh_, my blood boils at the thought of him nowadays. This immature prick who thinks he's Merlin's gift to all of women suddenly takes an interest in you. It's unnerving to say the least. Plus, it didn't help that I never liked him in the first place.

…But that's not the point. He never— his looks were never— just never like this. I mean, yeah I guess there was that lust in his eye, but it seemed almost teasing sometimes. But now his eyes had grown harder, more resolved. He was constantly saying that how much he wanted me, and that he _always_ got what he wanted. I had just refused to take it seriously thought. I figured I'd be the girl to turn him down and have him know not everyone would fall to their knees at the sight of him. But I suppose in retrospect that probably didn't do my cause any good. And now with hard set of his eyes upon me. My eyes closed tightly as my thoughts sent a shiver down my spine. I let my first curl tightly around the back of Jeremy's robe.

"I don't want to be here. I want to go." I whispered in Jeremy's ear, my voice expressing my fear. He glanced back at me, concern in his eyes. I could see Black and his little gang of friends coming at us slowly, casually.

"I'll take care of it, you go." He kissed my forehead and pried my hands off his cloak.

"I don't want to leave you here. Not with them." I said eyeing the boys wearily.

"Go." He said his voice stern, and before I knew it I had turned my back to the scene and was walking away. The sound of footfalls followed me. I looked behind me hoping to see the 5'11" blonde haired, hazel eyed boyfriend of mine, but instead I saw him.

"Oh bugger," I muttered to myself as I suddenly found my speed increasing as I came up to the moving staircases.

"We need to talk!" called out Black.

"Yeah," I said slowly and loud enough for him to hear without having to slow my pace or turn my head, "I'm not really feeling that idea."

"Well then, it's a good thing I don't really expect you to talk too much during our chat." He said, his voice drawing closer.

"Well I certainly hope you don't expect me to listen, because that is not going to happen!"

"Oh you'll listen," he practically growled

"Fine then, but so will you now! I don't want you near me Black! Do you understand that?" I screamed turning around, quite dramatically if I might say so, only to find him about 10 feet away from me. He stopped and stared; his eyes raking over me. "You're a pervert you know that" I said disgusted. His eyes locked onto mine.

"Not if I'm only looking at you."

"Uh, no," I said after a moment of silence, fighting off the instinctive blush at the strange come on, "You're still a pervert." he growled low in his throat again, the sound reminding me of an on edge dog ready to attack at a moment's notice. And, like the pathetic Gryffindor I was, I turned and ran.

It was a rather foolish idea considering I hated any type of real physical activity that forced me to control my breathing. I'll be the first to admit as well, that while I was slim, I wasn't in shape. Unfortunately for me, Black was in great shape. This meant that the odds of me actually out running the Quidditch star was nil, but I couldn't help but try.

For once though, luck seemed to be on my side as I heard I loud thud and grunt from behind. I quick glance over my shoulder confirmed my hope, Sirius Black kissing the ground. I thanked whatever god their might be and pushed myself harder, continuing down a flight of stairs faster than I could believe. Halfway down I felt the tall-tale lurch of the staircase, moving on its own will. With this comfort I stopped, turning around to see Black standing on the would be staircase platform. His body was tensed. His eyes focused. Was it childish of me to want to stick out my tongue at him? Obviously yes, and you'll be glad to know I didn't but that was because I let out a startled scream. Black had took a running start and was launching himself off the platform. As he landed surprisingly steady on my staircase, he dusted himself off casually looking me over once more before stepping towards me calmly.

"You—you jumped!" I said taking a shaky step back.

"I told you. I needed to speak with you." I surveyed my surroundings and saw that I really didn't have a choice in the matter and decided to let him 'talk'.

"Fine," I agreed, "but stay there. Right there." he grinned, the sodding bastard, shaking his head as he took the last few steps down towards me. I held out a useless hand to try and hold off the inevitable, but it was no use. One hand gripped the railing behind me, and the other was placed firmly on his chest.

"I had a really interesting morning today," he began, cornering me even more. "I was in Divination class with Professor Trelawny. Usually we all know that whatever Trelawny is preaching about is a bunch of dragon shit. But today something happened, when she asked me to help her put away the crystal balls she got really silent. Considering the woman is constantly muttering to herself I figured something was up, but when I went to ask what was wrong she came at me! Lunged at me really. She grabbed me by the arms," which he processed to do to me, hauling me up against his body, "and told me,

'Destined in the stars, it was a spell meant to happen. Longing for _her, oh how he longs for her, _and what he wants shall be received. Trails and trails, troubles and despair. A change of self, a change of heart, trust bound loosely in between, but she will yield.' and then she kind of look startled that she was holding me," I stood dazed, barely conscious of the staircase landing and connecting to a new floor, "and she lectured me on inappropriate professor/student relations. But, that bits really not the point, the point is, you are that girl. Don't you see? _I _long for you, I want you. I don't exactly know what magic is suppose to happen but, it all fits. The old bat actually had a prophecy! About us!"

He leaned in closer to me then, too close for comfort. My chest rose and fell with every anxious breath I took, taking in all that he had said. I couldn't control the blush that colored my face as he looked down at me knowingly. "You are obviously the girl I long for; the one that will be mine. And even though it might not be what you want it to be, we'll work it out, and you'll love me one day. It'll be tough at first what with all that trail and trouble bit, but in the end it would matter." A hand reach up to stroke the side of my face, "I can't _wait_ for this to come true. I can't wait to have every guy here envy me once I got you on my arm." He smiled at me finally finished and I couldn't help but notice it lit up his face. Quickly I squashed the notion from me and once more replayed what Black had told me. It only took me a moment though before I was bursting at the seams with laughter, much to his dismay.

"You actually think I'm going to believe that. There are too many holes in that theory of yours Black. Besides, I don't believe in that rubbish anyway, we make our own destiny. We don't go by what some crazy old woman says." I laughed again, louder this time and Black took a step away from me, his own arms dropping down to his sides, "That was kind of funny thought Black." A giggle this time escaped my lips as I tried to calm down my laughter that was obviously infuriating Black.

Taking advantage of his anger induced silence, I took a look at where the stairs had landed. The first floor! Score, I swiftly escaped the prison of the staircase and made my way to the Great Hall. Leaving Black to collect himself and calm down.

To my relief I found Jeremy at the Ravenclaw table, smiling and laughing with his friends. Ashanti waved me over with a smile and I went to her without hesitation. And just as I sat down the doors of the Great Hall opened loudly. I watched Black coming storming in and quickly over to his friends, and Lily. I noticed as they tried to calm him down, even Lily, well almost Lily she went back to reading after Potter shook his head at her and put his arm around her waist. At that gestured I frowned slightly, but turned away all the same. I was finished with the drama of the day.

"What happened after I left?" I asked Jeremy piling food onto my plate.

"Nothing uh, Potter, Lupin, and that other guy just kinda held me back. I didn't even realize Black left. They were only able to force me to come back here because they outnumbered me, and wouldn't let me go look for you. I was only comforted by the fact that I knew you could handle Black." He said in kind of rush. I sighed and laughed at Jeremy who's obvious deep caring never failed to astounds me.

Please note the sarcasm.

I could only shake my head at him once before he shot me a grin and went back to talking with his friends. Yep, we had one fantastic relationship.

"I don't know why you date my brother," Ashanti said, her blonde fringe falling into her hazel eyes. I smiled.

"Neither do I sometimes," we laughed a bit, and continued on with our meals, idly commenting on our days. It was towards the end of our meal that I felt his eyes on my back. A shiver raced its way up my spine.

"He's looking at you again" She whispered in my ear. I nodded. I knew, I always knew.


	2. Chaos

**A/N**: Guess who doesn't own Harry Potter? *points to self* THIS GUY!

* * *

"This is so not cool" I grumbled unhappily under my breath as I exited the potions room. Jeremy was waiting for me just outside the door, leaning against the wall. I walked over to him, a pout on my lips as I buried my head into his chest. His arm wrapped around my waist as the other tugged on my ponytail so I would look up at him. Then proceeded to ask me what was wrong.

"I got detention." He raised an eyebrow.

"You bad girl," He teased with a grin. I rolled my eyes a smile finding its way onto my face.

"It's not fair, I didn't do anything" I complained.

"Then how did you get it?"

"Black was bothering me so I sent a small, tiny, insignificant hex his way, after he'd been sending these little balls of parchment at my head the entire class. And I get in trouble…and him and Potter."

"What was Potter doing?"

"He was throwing them at my head too," I said and unconsciously smoothing my hair as much as I could while it was in a ponytail.

"So then no date tonight?" I shook my head. "The git probably did it on purpose just so he could be with you."

"How'd you guess?" Our heads turned to the new voice, a scowl already on my face as I looked at Black and Potter.

"Shut up Black you're not a part of this conversation." I said glaring. His eyes met mine a smirk tugged at his lips and his eyes darkened.

"I just can't wait for tonight" He continued walking towards us, Potter following casually behind. I took a step forward out of the protective arms of my boyfriend to meet him. He stood about a foot in front of me. I glared up at him.

"To bad I can't say the same"

"I can!" said Potter from behind. He grinned from over Blacks shoulder, an infuriating grin on his face. "Will have fun"

"I highly doubt that" I said my eyes barely glancing at him.

"Aw, you don't sound too excited for tonight. It's a real shame because I can tell" Black said taking a step forward, "something big is going to happen tonight." He stared into my eyes, a glint of something I couldn't quiet identify lingered in his eyes.

"Well!" said Potter loudly clapping his hands together, and then rubbing them against one another. "We must be off! To headquarters!" he cried and walked off towards the Great Hall. Black let out a bark of laughter letting his head tip back as he did so before following his friend.

"TO THE HEADQUARTERS!" they both cried laughing on their way.

_Nutcases. Absolute nutcases._

Jeremy came up from behind me wrapping his arms around me in a comforting embrace. Placing a kiss on top of my head, he guided me towards the Great Hall for dinner. Upon arriving he asked if I wanted to sit next to him during dinner. I passed up the offer and instead went and sat by Lily.

"Hello" I said sitting next to her.

"Hello yourself stranger." She responded with a large smile. "What are you up to tonight?" she asked cutting into her roast beef.

"Detention" Lily raised an eyebrow questionably at me.

"Potter and Black got me in trouble." I told her then started eating my own dinner.

"Typical" she said giving me a knowing smile.

"Are you suggesting that I normally get into trouble?" I spoke teasingly. Lily took a deep breath and closed her eyes a moment to contemplate my question before answering.

"Yes"

"Oh you're so funny Lil" I said sarcastically nudging her slightly.

"I know" was her reply. We laughed and the rest of the time through dinner caught up on each other's days.

"I suppose I should be going, don't want to be late. Make the old bat hate me even more."

"Have fun" she said as I walked away.

"Okay" I muttered dryly to myself. This was seriously going to suck. Stuck for 2 hours with 2 boys I could not _stand_wasn't going to be fun. I reached the dungeons 5 minutes before the detention actually started. Mr. Leone sent a glare my way and told me to sit down and wait for the others. As we waited I looked around the gloomy room. It smelled really bad in here. Honestly. Something might have died in here that could actually be the cause of the stink. Yet, before I could dwell on the stinky smell any longer Black and Potter stumbled into the room; ramming into one of the back row desks, and causing a chair to tumble over.

_Smooth_

"Right on time…" said Mr. Leone checking his watch he waved at the boys irritably to take a seat, then took off his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. I sighed and I was sent a quick glare by him before he returned the glasses to rest on his pudgy face. I shifted in my seat, ready for the torture to begin.

Mr. Leone took out his wand, did a nifty wrist flick, and in an instant we had 30 plus dirty cauldrons surrounding us. Various cleaning supplies littered the floor, including a bucket and mop. He stood, walking around his desk and held out his hand. "Wands" I groaned slightly and let my head fall back before standing up and giving him my wand, the boys following my action. "Your jobs" Mr. Leone indicated to the two dunderheads, "clean these cauldrons. And you" he said looking at me. "Mop the entire room, and when you're done help with the cauldrons. Now if you'll just excuse me I have an important meeting to attend." He said straightening his cloak.

"What?" I croaked, "You're leaving?" My voice sounding slightly panicked at having to be left alone with them.

"Yes." I bit my tongue as I watched him go before taking up the mop and bucket and carrying it to the other side of the room to begin my task.

* * *

I suppose I should have been suspicious of what the boys had been doing once Mr. Leone left the room, but I thought they were just trying to get there work done. Note to self, if the boys have been quite for this long they are up to something.

As I continued to work my way closer and closer to where the boys were I noticed something very …irritating.

"What are you doing?" I hissed coming over to them as I saw the mess they were making.

"Making a potion" said Potter like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What do you mean you're making a potion? You're supposed to be cleaning up, not making an even bigger mess!" I asked through gritted teeth. "Merlin, do you know how much trouble you're going to get us in!" I said in pure irritation.

"I've come up with a brilliant plan," Black said finally including himself into the conversation, "I thought about what you said and figured you might be on to something. With that, you make your own destiny crap. But you know, I still think Trelawny might have something right so I decided to find the way to make you finally be mine. A lust potion."

"You're sick." I spat. He let out a cruel laugh, and stared me straight in the eye.

"I get what I want love, and you are at the top of my list." He said pausing to turn the page so Potter could see the next step.

"I hate you" I violently cried out at him. His eyes hardened as he met my glaring ones.

"There's a fine line between hate and love" he said to me taking a step closer.

"Stop making that potion Potter" I said stepping around Black and attempting to snatch the book off the table they were working on. But of course before my hand could even reach out Black had me up against his chest. Holding my arms tightly to my side he let out a small grunt. "Let me go!" I screamed.

"Settle down Crosse I'm almost done" Said Potter still concentrating on the potion. I watched wide eyed as he added his last ingredient and started stirring.

"I'll have the charms of a Veela, it'll be amazing don't you think. They're irresistible creatures, and with this spell, whom ever I lay eyes on first will instantly-ughf!" my elbow landed in his side and I finally freed my arms from his grasp and continued on my path towards Potter. Everything else was blind to me, including what Black had been telling me. He had been counting the number of times he had been stirring and had finally finished. Panic coursed through my veins; I was too late and now, now I was desperately running to the door and trying to unlock it.

"He charmed it shut Crosse." Said Potter to me. I turned around as Potter ladled the potion into a small vile for Black to drink from.

"You can't do this Black," I licked my lips nervously, "it won't be real. Please…" my voice trailed off as I watched him down the purple liquid. I squeezed my eyes shut and quickly opened them as I heard a loud crash. Black had violently thrown the cauldron aside, spilling its contents on the floor. "What in Merlin's name did you do!" I yelled at Potter, he in turn, through me an uneasy look at me and took a couple steps away from Black as we both watch him jerk and twitch But what I noticed most was the frightening grip he had on the table. His knuckles were turning white with the strain.

"Padfoot?" Potter spoke, taking a cautious step forward but halted as Sirius let out a loud growl. I turned my back to the situation at hand and once again tried frantically to open the door. Yelling and pounding on it, hoping and praying someone could hear. I heard a startled yelp in the background and then a loud crash. Turning around as quickly as I could I watched horrified as Potter landed quite ungracefully into the stack of caulrons.

"James!" I yelled, his name feeling foreign on my tongue, as I rushed over to him. Yet before I could reach his unconscious form an arm wrapped itself around my waist. "Let go!" I screamed, scratching at his Blacks arms. "Sirius let me go!" I yelled as his arm only tightened around me. "James get up!" I yelled at him, my voice going raw as I continued to scream at both boys.

Finally thought, after what seemed like an eternity, James stirred. I felt Sirius's arm loosen as he watched James get up. Taking the opportunity I slipped out of his arms and ran to James side.

Helping him up I heard Sirius let out another feral growl. I looked over my shoulder to see Sirius eyes a deadly black, as he glared at James.

"Mine" he seethed taking a step forward.

"Find out what went wrong" I said to James pushing him to the side as Sirius charged at us. I hastily dodged to the other side barely being missed by Sirius large form, yet he somehow managed to stop just before tumbling into the pile of cauldrons. I ran towards the back of the room, and quickly moved to the opposite side of a table as Sirius made his way towards me.

"Ryleigh!" cried James. I glanced over at James who was reading the book from which he had been gathering his instructions from.

"Did you find it?" I asked as Sirius grinned across from me at the other end of the table. He faked a right, making me instantly go towards mine, and away from his direction.

"No I don't understand-" He stopped mid-sentenced and I held my breath. I looked back and forth between both boys before Sirius captured my attention as he ran across the left side of the table towards me, instantly I ran around the other end, till we both ended up in the exact same spot as before.

"_Mine_" he barked at me, his hair falling over his eyes as he panted heavily.

"Ryleigh" I barely heard James say.

"What!" I cried desperately to him.

"The pages…they got stuck together, we did a different potion."

"_You what_!" I screamed. I glanced at James, and saw him visibly cringe. "What happened to him?"

"He's a-" before he had time to finish his sentence a Cauldron pot came zooming towards his head, crashing into the back of it with a sickening thump. I gasped, a hand covering my mouth as I saw James body fall limply forward. I looked at Sirius wide eyed.

"You..you-you" the words could come out as I stared horrified at the man before me. Sirius seemed indifferent as he stared at me intently and proceeded to lift his end of the table and fling the entire thing casually to the side. He then slowly made his way around me, taking his time as he circled me, raking his eyes lavishly over me. I squeezed my eyes shut as I shivered and clutched my arms to my chest too frightened to even look at him. "What are you?" I all but whispered.

In an instant he was on me, pushing me roughly against the wall, the back of my head hitting it with a crack. I cried out in pain, angry tears welling up in my eyes.

"What am I?" he asked leaning down to nuzzle my neck. I struggled against him turning my head away from his as I gazed helpless into the potions room. I tried to break his hold but he swiftly held my hands above my head with only one of his own. His own legs pinned mine as well, making it so I could hardly move, yet still I struggled to release his hold on me.

"Let me go!" I yelled trying to move his head away from my neck. I barely had time to yell at him once more before he cruelly bit into my neck with his canines. I screamed out in pain feeling a warm liquid drip down my neck. Blood, my blood, the realization hit me with a new wave of panic as I wiggled and squirmed to get out of his grip. He retaliated by biting down harder and growling. I stopped my protest and could only whimper in pain as tears of fear, anger, pain, and humiliation cascaded down my cheeks.

At my resignation my hands and lapped at the wound he created. Leaving a tingling sensation behind; he slowly kissed his way up my neck, before letting his forehead rest on mine. He lifted his hand and moved to wipe the tears from my face but I turned my head stubbornly. He let out a low growl and gripped my chin forcefully with his free hand and turned it back so I was looking directly at him. Once again he placed his forehead against mine.

"What am I, you ask." He said in a rough husky voice, "I'm a veela love. And you" he smirked "are"my mate" he licked his lips and stared into my eyes.

"No" I murmured weakly and closing my eyes.

"Mine, Mine, Mine." He said in a singsong voice.

"Never" I said vehemently capturing his gaze. His grip tightened considerably on mine. The look in his eyes was murderous as I refused him. As he opened his mouth to argue further the door of the potions room slammed open.

"_Stupefy!_" cried Professor Dumbledore, who stood in the doorway with both Professor Trelawny and Leone. Sirius hands released mine as he fell to the floor. "Miss. Crosse it seems we have arrived too late." Dumbledore spoke to me as he looked at both of the unconscious boys in the room. "Mr. Leone if you could please see to it that both these gentlemen get to the infirmary I believe Professor Trelawny and myself need to have a talk with Miss. Crosse. If you'd please follow us Miss. Crosse to my room we can begin to sort this out." Dumbledore said to me and turned walking out the room. Professor Trelawny followed and I had no choice but to follow her example. "This is so not cool" I grumbled unhappily under my breath as I exited the potions room.

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**A/N**: You know what to do!


	3. Decisions

**A/N**: Can you keep a secret? I don't own Harry Potter :(

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Things couldn't get any worse. Seriously; I mean, what could possibly beat Azkaban?

Oh that's right— a life span spent by Sirius Black's side.

I sighed, sliding down the cold wall of an empty classroom. When it's put that way it doesn't sound so bad I guess. Many others, who had somehow heard the story of what transpired that detention, seemed to think the same. This wasn't normal for me. I don't hide in classrooms when I'm confronted by problems. I don't let other people's opinions of me get to me like they were now. I suppose the difference between a few trollops and the entire school snubbing you made the difference.

Not too long after I had run out on Black (three days ago) I was confronted by an angry James Potter and Remus Lupin. After our 'talk', which involved many loud nasty words, and even worse hexes, I limped my way up to the hospital wing. The two idiots followed behind with their own wounds that needed mending. I didn't expect to see him there though.

"_What in Merlin's name happened!" cried Madame Pomfrey at the sight of us. Casting glances at each other quickly we all answered simultaneously._

"_Slytherins," she eyed us momentarily before ushering us towards separate beds. After having done the boys first with a few quick flicks of her wand she turned to me. Her gaze felt like a weight on my entire body and I felt myself shirking back._

"_I'm very disappointed in you Miss. Crosse." my eyes widened._

"_Excuse me?" she began an intricate movement with her arm before answering me; leaving me with a very pain-free knee. "erm— thanks,"_

"_Your decision Miss. Crosse, the one that has landed Mr. Black in my wing…for the last time." I was shocked to see her eyes fill with tears as she looked regretfully at a bed near the end of the room with covers blocking the view of its occupant. Then with a pang I realized this would be my last time in the hospital wing. I felt the gazes of the two marauders on me as I stared at the wall opposite of me. "He might have been a bit rough around the edges, but he was a good boy—" with a small sniff she cast her healing eyes on me once more and began a series of moves to relieve me of my injuries._

"_It'll be my last time in here too you know," I said softly. Then, casting my eyes towards hers, she met my gaze unflinching and replied._

"_And whose fault is that?" something inside me dropped as I let my head fall forward slightly. Right, that would be mine. The one who was suffering over trying to maintain some sort of control over their life; "He had so much potential, and while I know he's made mistakes in the past, because I've tended to most of them, he didn't deserve this." I didn't bother to look up at her as she continued to cut me with her words. "What a disgrace." _

_Squeezing my eyes shut in an attempt to block out any more words a lone tear fell down my cheek. I brought my arms up to wrap around myself in a sense of comfort that never came. Her last words had not meant to be heard as she walked away quickly._

_I bit my tongue to keep from retorting and defending myself (since that obviously didn't go over well). With the shield of my hair I glanced quickly over at James and Remus who were talking with Madame Pomfrey near her office. Shifting my gaze I looked back over to the other patient in the room who was hidden out of view, the declared victim. The one who had forced this situation by pushing me too far and leaping over the proverbial line. Shaking my head I silently slid off the sterile white bed and towards the exit._

"_Ryleigh?" I stopped mid-step and looked over my shoulder. Unbeknownst to me the three fans of Black stopped their conversation to watch what would happen next. "Ryleigh? Please…PLEASE!" his anguished whisper of my name turned into a terrible cry and I ran towards the exit._

"_Where do you think you're going?" James blocked my exit and held his wand at me, pointing it directly at my heart. Then I felt the pressure of hard slightly worn wood at my neck._

"_Go to him," Remus commanded me, "now." With a parade of tears ready to march their way down my face I hurriedly did as I was told and crossed the room towards Black. It was blatantly clear that no one was on my side, and so I held the tears back just as Madame Pomfrey pulled back the current; and there he was._

_My breath left me, almost indefinitely as I forgot to continue inhaling and exhaling the precious elixir of life. Black's weary eyes locked on mine as soon as the curtain was drawn. The corners of his mouth lifted and his body seemed to relax in an instant, as if it was once tense with some kind of pain. Was I his elixir of life? He reached his hand out towards me and I took in a sharp intake of breath. Did he need me? Because it seemed so suddenly to me that his wanting me was so much different from needing me at this moment. He had evolved, his pursuit of me changing the circumstances. Want turned to need._

"_Ryleigh," my voice poured from his lips in a single breath and he closed his eyes in a peaceful way. "I knew you'd come. I knew you wouldn't leave me. Not after I worked so hard to get you." His weary eyes opened once again showing a strange brightness as he reached his hand further out to me while I stared at him in a daze. His fingertip brushed the back of my hand, "Mine."_

_That word was all it took for me to have my feelings of anger, humiliation, and determination return to me full force. I stepped back from him a step and his once confident gaze flickered with uncertainty._

"_No," I told him in a harsh whisper. "How dare you put me in this situation. This is all your fault. If you hadn't of done that damn potion you wouldn't be in this mess. You wouldn't have forced me to make this decision if you hadn't been so stubborn." Black tensed up and wrapped an arm around his waist._

"_Don't, please-", he pleaded._

"_Goodbye Sirius," I raced out of the room as quickly as I could. I couldn't escape his tortured groans of pain, or the sound of his heavy weeping._

And now here I was, 3 days later, hiding from the world around me. Having to almost constantly keep up a protective shield charm around me was draining. But after one day filled with hexes and jinxes being sent in my direction non-stop, wasn't something I could tolerate. If only I could _silencio_ my school mates as well. Their bark was just as bad as their bite.

Morgana help me, what kind of war was I fighting. My win in the battle against Black was supposed to be the end of it all, but I suppose I had lost that as well. And now to add to my loses I had lost the support of my friends in my decision. I was losing everything thanks to him. My lip split as I forcefully bit down on it to try and keep my hysterics down to a minimum. The taste of my blood was just another reminder of the wounds I had gathered from these past few days.

It wouldn't be like this where I was headed. My eyes shut in concentration as I thought up what this new turn in my life would bring. Death inevitably; long days were hope would drain from my body. Happiness would leave me. My only comforting thought being that I was able to choose the course my life would take; even if it was unpleasant.

"Fuck," I muttered aloud to myself. Who was I kidding? How was a life sentence in Azkaban any better than being with a man who "loved" me? My thoughts drifted towards my other choice. Could I be happy knowing that I was forced into a life I never wanted. To be with a man who had made my life hell and allow him to lord over me. Was it possible for me to relinquish all my control over to him? Have no choice of my fate, instead leaving all the decisions that were rightfully mine to make, up to him?

What life was that? One where surely the days would pass in years with no nights for me to escape in sleep. One where all hope of a better life was completely out of reach and happiness could never be mine.

No life-

_Although…there could be one if you were to give Sirius a chance._

A small whisper of a voice suggested from somewhere in the depths of my mind. I shook my head immediately. No. Never.

He had a chance to leave me alone, get on with his life. Black pushed too far, too much. He would never have my love because of it. What would I be if I allowed any sort of feelings to develop between Black and me? A traitor.

I was no Slytherin.

Feeling a wave of exhaustion rush over me I rubbed my sore eyes with the palms of my hands. All of these thoughts were wearing me down even more. And I needed whatever strength I could muster so I could get by. Who knew how much longer Black could last anyway. My mindless thoughts were answered shortly to the sound of a rap at the door. Stepping inside, tall and regal, stood Professor Dumbledore.

"Miss. Crosse if you could please follow me. It seems Mr. Black's final hours are upon us, and he wishes now to be with you." I stood on shaky legs and nodded. This was it. This was the end.

We walked silently down the halls and up the staircases passing by mourning students who sat and cried in each other's arms, mourning the coming lose of Sirius Black. No tears for the wicked. It was as we neared the entrance of the Hospital Wing that my stomach began to do flips. Two men in black robes stood waiting, each with a shiny emblem on their robes. Aurors. They eyed me with both curiosity and disdain.

"You'll be leaving shortly after…" I nodded once more, words completely failing me as we entered the surprisingly deserted room. "I'll allow you your time alone with him. Come out when-"

"I will" I said in a hoarse voice and walked forward towards _him_. His shirt was off, and the covers laid strewn on the floor. Angry red welts covered the middle left area of his muscled torso. His heart. The recognition caught me off guard and made me stumble slightly as I got closer to his bed. Cautiously I took steps closer to his bedside before deciding at the last minute to take a seat in a chair near him. "You idiot Black." I choked out, touching the feverish skin of his forearm. I let one hand cover my mouth as I bowed my head and sobbed lightly.

"Ryleigh?" his eyes found me easily and once more a small smile tugged at his lips. "Hey beautiful." He attempted to reach a hand out towards me but I saw the tremendous strain it put on him and quickly placed my hand over his. His brow furrowed. "Your hurt," his eyes lingered on my bloodied lip.

"It's nothing," I said with a neat shrug. We stayed silent for awhile as Black slowly weaved his fingers into mine.

"Lay with me will you?" I gazed at him sadly about to protest, "Give a dying man some sort of peace?" his laugh was forced but I could feel the pain in his voice. My tears hadn't stopped running down my face but neither of us commented as I climbed into his bed. I lightly placed an arm on his stomach as I allowed him to drape his arm across me.

"Sirius?" my voice was soft in the silence of the vast room.

"Yes?" he asked, his voice suddenly much hoarser than before.

"I'm sorry." His hand which was resting on my arm gave it a light squeeze.

"I know." I tried to control my shaking that was suddenly consuming me along with my sobbing. "Come on now, no tears. You shouldn't be crying. If anyone it should be me. I was supposed to die in a blaze of glory, or some old wrinkled man. Not a striking young bloke from a broken sodding heart." His forced humor only intensified my sobs. "Shh, please," I managed to calm myself briefly as his other hand rose achingly slow towards the one that rested on his stomach. He took my own hand in his and moved it leisurely up his chest to those angry red welts that marked his beautiful body. His heart beat was weak. "This belongs to you," the simple statement rode along a shaky breath.

Silence.

"I could see you dying in a blaze of glory in the name of house elves and muggle-borns." I told him after minutes of silence. He laughed then. A real laugh that truly silenced my tears until he started to wheeze and cough. His heart beat faltered against my palm and I quickly sat up beside him as he gripped my hand tightly. "Sirius?"

His eyes were closed tightly as he tried to concentrate on breathing properly, but when he couldn't maintain control he looked up at me sadly. "I don't want to die," he said in a defeated voice. And his words hit me harder than I expected as a wave of clarity washed over me.

"I don't want to die either," I told him trying to catch my uneasy breath. He looked at me slightly dazed, as his heart tapped an erratic beat against his chest.

"Ryleigh?" he questioned insecurely. Hopefully.

"Stay with me Sirius. Don't die. I don't want to die either." I threw myself down on his body before he had a chance to reply and held him tightly to me. "I don't want to die, please Sirius. Stay, stay-Stay with me!" I sobbed uncontrollably into his shoulder.

"Mine?" the one worded question had me shaking once more.

"Yes" I answered in defeat. And then his arms were around me securely with a new found strength. His heart pounded out a steady rhythm between us as he stroked my back and hair fondly. My sobs lessened but I couldn't help the feeling of dread that crawled under my skin at my new decision. But things couldn't get worse, could they?

* * *

**A/N**: Do what you got to do!


	4. The Fall

**A/N**: There she blows! Another chapter and now for another disclaimer. Harry Potter, it doesn't belong to me.

* * *

"Ah Sirius, it's nice to see you still alive," claimed Dumbledore's overly cheery voice. "It is also quite good to know that we won't be losing two students today." His heavy gaze feel on me but my eyes stayed focused on a point far away from where Dumbledore stood.

"It's good to be alive sir," affirmed Black as his fingertips traced lazy circles on my back. An awkward silence enveloped us until finally their gazes combined drove me to speak.

"Is that all?" another tense silence.

"Yes, but before you go I do believe some of your friends would like to see you. And I'm sure that once Madame Pomfrey declares you fit to leave then you may do as you wish Sirius." with his parting words I began to attempt sitting up.

"Let go," I growled out.

"You'll leave," he stated as we watched his group of friends come trotting in with Lily in tow.

"Now Black," I struggled in his iron lock but he barely paused to acknowledge my antics besides an eye roll; preferring instead to grin widely at his friends.

"You're looking pretty good— for a mangy mutt that is." Lupin said, his voice laced with relief.

"Sorry I can't say the same for you mate," Sirius responded with a wink, "You'd think something has been weighing heavy on your mind or some rubbish like that." The group allowed a small somber silence to embrace them while I continued my struggles.

"Yeah well if someone wasn't off _dying_ on us I suppose I wouldn't look that way 'ay?" Lupin returned finally. Black's grin returned full force and swung a hand out at the boys allowing me to free a hand. Quickly, in their mirth, I reached into my robes and grabbed my wand. Pulling it out swiftly I jabbed it into Black's side. With a grimace he stared down at me hard.

"Problem love?" he asked through gritted teeth. The others watched us in silence as we stared at each other in a small battle.

"A number of things in fact, but no worries _love,_ I plan on solving one right now. Let. Me. Go." His other arm retracted slowly from me but I moved away from him as quickly as I could. Stumbling onto the ground I straightened myself mindlessly while keeping my wand trained on Black.

"You really think that's a good idea Crosse?" Potter asked tightly. Then, for the first time I noticed both Potter and Lupin gripping their wands tightly, and aimed directly at me.

"Haven't you done enough harm already?" I asked tersely as I eyed them up. Were we really going to do this again? I made a disgusted noise in the back of my throat and moved to step away but they both took a step forward. "Back off!"

"I don't really think you should leave. What about you Moony?"

"Oh I agree Prongs, most definitely."

"Good thing I don't care what you think of me then," I retorted.

"Maybe not us, but what about the whole school 'ay?" I stiffened.

"I heard those stories and they're absolute bollocks," venom laced my voice as I glared at Potter who wore an ugly sneer on his lips.

"What?" the question was quiet but held a steady note to it. "James?" Lily turned to her boyfriend and stared at him with hard eyes. "You said…did you lie to me?" Lupin with confused eyes turned also to look at his friend. All the while, amongst the stares and questions Potter's face took on a violent shade of red as his mouth opened and closed like a fish on dry land.

"I might-" he said with a hard voice as he turned to face Lily and lowered his wand, "might have- missed a few facts here and there."

"What about the fact that I saved your bloody worthless life!" I shouted.

"I was handling it!"

"Like hell you were! The only thing you were doing was helping to build the gigantic mess we're in now! You helped Black make the potion, you played a key role in mucking it all up, and then what? You conveniently put all the blame on me? Say I'm the one who was secretly obsessed with Black and decided the only way we could be together was this potion? None of this mess is my fault and you know it! You know what happened and you made me the bad guy when it was you two." Flustered and out of breath I stopped from going off any more. Instead I merely shook my head and finally left in a whirl of swirling black robes.

I had somehow made it through the throng of people to the quidditch pitch where I was greeted with absolutely nothing. A pleasant change from what I was surrounded with only minutes before. Blessed Morgana what has made you so angry at me? Why was life like this, hard and tedious. Unrelenting. It really was some kind of nasty bitch. Or maybe I just had terrible luck. Really terrible luck; but somehow I was going to have to make it through. Not that I had any inclination as to how I was suppose too, but I would. Thinking on it now I suppose the library would be a good start. I could find out all about veela's, their habits, their nature.

Thoughts swirled in my head as I wandered mindlessly across the pitch towards a tucked away supply shed. The door opened with a sharp tug of its rusted knob and I was greeted by an old set of brooms. Grabbing one at random I quickly mounted and rode into the sky. Up and up and up I traveled letting the cool air run across my face and whip through my hair. This was… everything I needed it to be in this moment. Peaceful, and yet I was filled completely with adrenaline pulsing through my veins. No more thoughts clouded my head as I dived down towards the earth only to sharply veer off to the left and pull up.

"Going somewhere?" a voice asked near my ear. I screamed loudly and jerked to my right as I peered over my shoulder at the intruder.

"Jeremy you asshole!" I yelled as my heart beat calmed down at the sight of him, "You are such a jerk you know that." I told him with a laugh and flew towards him.

"You might have told me once before." He said with a small smile before he looked me over with concern, "What are you doing out here?"

"I'm not really welcome in there am I?"

"Well I think we both could name someone who wants you by his side," his voice had a steely edge towards the end of his statement and I felt my stomach drop.

"You don't believe what they're saying do you?" His eyes looked alarmed as he gazed at me for a moment before shaking his head violently.

" 'Course not, I know better than to believe anything that comes from one of their mouths." He told me, "But it'd be nice to know what did happen…" and so I told him of their plan and what happened. How Dumbledore had been too late, my rejection, and of course my finale defeat; the worst blow of them all.

"So you can't be my girlfriend anymore then." It was the fact that neither of us wanted to accept, but out in the open- him saying it- brought tears to my eyes. Silently I nodded in agreement.

"I'm sorry, this isn't what I wanted. All I wanted was to be with _you_." Jeremy reached his hand out to cradle my face and I gratefully leaned into his warm hand.

"I'll always love you, ya know?" he told me choking up a bit as our brooms moved closer together, until I could feel his warm breath on my cheek. "And if he's the one who's got to make you happy now then I'll live with that." His fingers gently moved across my face at his admission. I closed my eyes to savor the feeling of his delicate touch. He always treated me like I was some sort of porcelain doll. But such caring handling was doing him no good at the moment, nor I. My heart ached and I knew that it was surely breaking, yet there was nothing that we could do to stop it.

"It's just not fair," I whimpered opening my eyes to meet his.

"No, s'not." Faintly I could feel his lips moving against mine as he replied to me. I trembled but our privacy was disturbed as a distant rumble in the air broke us apart. I turned my face up towards the sky.

_Wait…_

Confusion embraced me as I stared at the cloudless blue sky. "What the-"

I turned my head to look at Jeremy and saw him staring down at the ground. My gaze ran over the ground until I spotted the source of the noise. Broom mounted and heading straight towards us was Black. And did I mention he was coming at an alarming speed?

"Go," I whispered fearfully, but Jeremy was frozen in the air. "Go!" I screamed and pushed him away from me. He flew off without a word leaving me to face the wrath of Black alone, but he wasn't headed towards me anymore… "No," suddenly terrified I chased after the two boys.

Jeremy weaved and dived in the air, trying as hard as he could to get away from Black but he stayed on his tail like the expert predator he was. Merlin this couldn't be happening! Leaning forward on the old broom I urged it to move forward faster. Inch by inch I gained on the boys by going straight after them, no big divers or wide too wide curves.

"Black! Stop it Black!" I yelled as I reached the end of his broom. A loud growl answered my command and in a moment of great stupidity I grabbed onto one of Blacks boots that was within reach. Automatically he kicked back to lose the grip I had on him. But due to my awkward position I lost my balance. I tumbled forward and a silent scream rushed from my mouth in a gasping breath as my fingers lost their grip on my own broom.

And suddenly the air was whipping around me in a new way as I plummeted towards the forest we had been zooming above. I gasped for breath realizing I only had seconds before I would crash into the hard branches of the trees below me. Closer and closer I came until finally a scream tore through my body as I crashed into the first branch. The air rushed out of me in one big whosh but I was quickly dropping again. My back suffered next, then my right side. As my head was painfully knocked back I found myself unable to pinpoint the direct source of my pain anymore.

_Fuck_. I reached out blindly to grab onto anything that would stop me. How was I to know that this would dislocate my arm from my shoulder? The sound that tore from my throat was inhuman but the tears that tracked down my face certainly were. But then nothing mattered anymore, I had finally stopped falling.

The shrubbery I had landed in was devoid of life, but the sharp leafless branches, tickled and scratched at my skin relentlessly. Unconsciously I rolled my head to the side to relieve the aching throb that racked my skull. It didn't surprise me when I found myself quickly losing consciousness but I fought it off for a few more minutes to find the source of stinging pain in my abdomen. Attempting to lift my head was a waste of time so instead I moved my good arm towards the pain. Something hot and wet covered my shirt. _B__lood_. Moving closer I felt a rough long object protruding from my stomach. Breathing heavily I gripped the object tightly and attempted to remove it.

"Ahhh! Ergh!" I could feel the blood crawl its way up my throat, choking me as I coughed it up. A single drop made its way painlessly out the side of the mouth before I found the darkness the kept me from my broken body

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**A/N**: Go ahead, feel free to show me some love ;)


	5. Never Lost Forever

_**Previously**:_

And suddenly the air was whipping around me in a new way as I plummeted towards the forest we had been zooming above. I gasped for breath realizing I only had seconds before I would crash into the hard branches of the trees below me. Closer and closer I came until finally a scream tore through my body as I crashed into the first branch, then hitting the second with my back, the third-the hell if I could pinpoint the pain anymore. Fuck! I reached out blindly to grab onto anything that would stop me. But this move as well didn't turn out in my favor as I felt my right arm dislocate from my shoulder.

Another scream ripped passed my lungs the pain in my body as I crashed to the ground onto a dead shrubbery. My head rolled to the side as I tried to relieve the aching throb that racked my skull after it hit the ground. It didn't surprise me when I found myself quickly losing consciousness but I fought it off for a few more minutes to find the source of stinging pain in my abdomen. Attempting to lift my head was a waste of time so instead I moved my good arm and hand towards the pain. Something hot and wet covered my shirt, _blood_. Moving closer I felt a rough long object protruding from my stomach. Breathing heavily I gripped the object tightly and attempted to remove it.

"Ahhhh!!!" I could feel the blood crawl its way up my throat, choking me as I coughed it up. A single drop made its way painlessly out the side of the mouth before I found the darkness the kept me from my broken body.

* * *

_Fuck._

Merlin help me why did every bone in my body vibrate pain? And why was it so hard to breathe? And what for gods sake happened to me?

"Ugh,"

For Merlin's sake it should not hurt to turn your head to the side. A slow ringing in my ears sounded as I tried to remember my last whereabouts because for some reason things were just not connecting. I was high before, and then there was this rush of…of something. _Fear._ Falling, and then the pain. A whimper crawled up my throat past my lips as it started flashing back before my eyes. Hitting every branch, feeling like it would never end and then hitting the ground. So hard. So hard that I couldn't move, but that wasn't the reason. No, no there was something in me. _Oh Merlin_.

I could feel my heart pounding furiously against my chest as I opened my eyes to blinding whiteness as my hands frantically roamed my aching abdomen. Until finally, I found the source of the most prominent pain.

"Ungh," my mouth felt so dry and damnit was this much pain really necessary? Wasn't there something to stop it? Anything? Steaming liquid fell down my damp cheeks as I continued to whimper. But the incessant questions concerning my welfare didn't compare to the most important question haunting me; where was I?

My body trembled in fear but this only aroused the pain to a more heightened level. "Hel-help. Puh-lease…" my hand reached out blindly to my side, grasping for anything, anybody.

"Madame Pomfrey! Madame Pomfrey she's awake!!" yelled a masculine voice besides me. My gaze fluttered towards him as he moved into my blurred vision. A halo of dark hair surrounded his roughened face, and worn eyes. Unconsciously my hand rose towards his beautiful features, where I let my weary fingertips graze the stubble of his cheek before letting the wounded appendage drop as if a weight had been placed on it.

"I know …I know your -" a started cough broke through my speech causing me to wince in pain.

"Here," a cool hand wrapped itself around the back of my neck, anchoring it up so my lips could come in contact with something solid. Tipping the instrument I felt the even cooler liquid splash against my lips. My mouth opened quickly and I took grateful swallows of the water. Finally, some kind of sweet relief.

"Thank you," I said in a shaky voice as I continued to look over the boys face. "Do I know you?" his eyes widen along with his mouth, ready to reply with an adorably confused expression on his face.

"Sirius dear I'm going to need you to keep her head up like that so she can drink these potions." My heavy lidded eyes moved towards the new voice and before I got to take a good look my sight was greeted with a lumpy green mixture slowly making its way down the edge of another glass and towards my mouth. The horrid smell of something found in the rubbish bin wafted up my nose and violently I threw my head to the side.

"No way," I growled out, struggling to loosen the grip on my neck but only causing myself further pain.

"Get behind her boy, sit her up," quickly I was being slid forward as the familiar man scooted behind me, putting me in an extremely uncomfortable position.

"I've got you, don't worry," his warm voice whispered close to my ear.

"My stomache-" I choked out in pain before the hideous green mixture was put in my mouth. I attempted to spit out the vile concoction but the healers hand was placed firmly over my lips, keeping them closed.

"Swallow. This is meant to heal your injuries that you still have on the inside of your body. Especially concerning your abdomen. Now, swallow." I did as instructed. And soon three more cups pressing against my lips, each tasting more horrid than the last, until finally I was finished.

Completely exhausted I slumped back against the warm body behind me, whose arms were wrapped securely around my waist. "Who are you?" I asked quietly after the woman finally left. "I know you, don't I?"

"Yes," came his hesitant response. Tears slowly welled up in my eyes as a slow panic started to rise from deep within me.

"I can't remember things…" I whispered as my body began to shake lightly, "I know how I was hurt. And-and I know this is the school I attend; Hogwarts. I'm in the house of the lion thing, and I know I can do magic. This is a school for witches and wizards. And I know I know her too, that woman whose healing me. But I don't remember things I should know like the name of my house, and your name, and her name…my name. Everything just seems out of reach." His arms tightened around me as my breathing started to come out in raspy gasps; while tears feel down my cheeks. "And now I'm getting tired. But I don't want to sleep, because I don't want to forget even more. I don't want to sleep."I said in a slightly hysterical cry. Moving my good hand I gripped onto his arm tightly, nails digging into his flesh. "Please don't make me," I pleaded.

"Shh, I'll be here with you. I won't leave you." He whispered reassuringly past my ear. "Never again, I won't leave you ever again. I promise." Slowly he leaned us back till I was resting on my back with him wrapped completely around my left side. Intertwined in his arms and legs, and warmth, I found comfort. And slowly I allowed sleep to take over.

"…who…" the single word rushed out on a breath from my parted lips.

"I'm your boyfriend," he said after a moment of silence, "Sirius."

"Don't go," I pleaded lightly before closing my eyes, "_Sirius_."

Whatever words he might have whispered fell on deaf ears as sleep finally overcame me.

* * *

"Where am I," I paused, "now?" my question broke the silence I woke up to in a, thankfully, dimly light room.

"You're awake," replied Sirius' relieved voice. His heavy footsteps padding across the floor towards me as I rubbed my sore eyes.

"So it seems," I responded giving him a weak smile before scanning the new room. It was fairly large, with the large bed I was resting in off to in the far corner of the room. A decently sized wardrobe stood directly across from the bed on the opposite wall. Turning I noticed the small lounging area in the middle of the room, a wood burning furnace up against the wall to provide a cozy atmosphere to the warm red and golden hues across the room. Sitting up a bit straighter I turned more fully to notice a nook in the wall containing what seemed to be a kitchenette area, and just to the right of the bed, no more than 5 feet away was another door, slightly ajar. But the most prominent piece in the room had to be the large mirror that took a good portion of the wall as well, completing the room as it was placed in front of a make shift walkway, between the bed and the lounge area.

"How do you feel?" I raised a skeptical eyebrow that had him bustling around towards the lounge area where he retrieved several small bottles.

"Seriously?" I asked scooting back on the bed.

"Yes, seriously," he said in a stern voice advancing on me before reaching out a muscular arm to wrap just slightly around my waist to pull me forward.

"I feel better though," I said in a convincing voice that would have been even better if I hadn't of winced at the end of it.

"Drink," he said uncorking a bottle.

"Mm mm, not gonna happen. That stuff tastes absolutely- hey!" with a heave he pulled me up onto my feet and placed the bottle to my tightly closed mouth.

"I mean it, if you're going to get better Ryleigh. " I stopped my struggles for a moment and looked up at him. My eyes searching his momentarily before speaking;

"That's my name?" Sirius' expression softened.

"Ryleigh Abigail Crosse." Casting my eyes downward I slowly parted my lips and allowed him to pour the medicine down my throat.

"So gross…" I muttered under my breath as I finished the last of the few I had to take. "Could I have a glass of water, anything; anything to get this taste out of my mouth." I requested and Sirius shot off towards the kitchenette, returning at an abnormally fast speed.

"Here," he said shoving the glass towards me. Accepting the refreshing drink I eyed him warily.

"That was like, record speed," I joked with a forced laugh, taking another sip of my water.

"Yea," he said shortly with a small grin, ruffling his hair as well.

"So…"

"You're feeling better?"

"Much," I replied with a shaky smile setting the glass down on the bedside table. Once more my eyes drifted around the unfamiliar room. "Sirius, where are we?"

"Home," my brows met in a quizzical fashion.

"Pardon?"

"This is our suite, its near by the Gryffindor- "(that's the house I was in!)" common room. Just a floor up actually."

"Riiight… so why do we have our own suite?"

"Because we are…under, certain special circumstances." He said slowly.

"What kind of circumstances?" I asked crossing my arms firmly over my chest. His eyes bowed down towards my arms current location to study the area before I finally had to smack his- very well toned- chest in order to gain his attention. "Eyes up here!" I yelled in a high pitched voice that I didn't know I possessed, and blushing furiously.

"Sorry love," he replied not looking sorry at all. Then folding his arms across his own chest rather arrogantly he let his eyes scan my entire body in one full sweep.

"Sirius!" he chuckled and gazed into my eyes with darkened eyes. "What circumstances?" I inquired again, hoping to distract his glazed look.

"I'm a veela," I paused trying to remember things about those specific creatures.

"Really?" I asked, tilting my head quizzically.

"Yes," he answered and was ready to continue on if I hadn't interrupted him.

"But aren't veela's by nature a bit taller than you, and leaner. Your build is more of a muscular bulky one, and they're not so much. If I remember correctly, which I think I do…" I said trailing off a bit, raking my brain to insure these facts that came upon me were correct, before picking back up once again, "And they have softer more feminine features, especially males because they're so rare. Most veela's are female. Blonde hair, blue eyes, porcelain skin. And you are- not that. At all," I said blushing as I did my own once over.

"And how would you describe me then?" Sirius asked taking a step closer to me.

"Um, uh," I licked my lips feeling slightly overwhelmed at his mere presence but continued on, "You're a manly sort of man." I scrunched my nose at my lame analysis while Sirius' eyes danced with amusement. "I don't know. You're strong and muscular. You're tall, but not some towering giant. And I would hardly call your facial features feminine, more like rugged and quite…masculine."

"And are these qualities you like? In a man?" he asked in a husky tone coming towards me once more. Slightly, and only slightly, intimidated I backed up until my knees hit the bed behind me.

"Maybe, I don't really know." Closer he came, achingly slowly, "Um so…how long was I asleep?" I asked moving along the side of the bed. Changing topics, smart idea Ryleigh, throw him off a bit!

"Almost a day," he said nonchalantly. Ignoring my subtle change of topic.

"That's a long time," I commented, grasping onto the post at the end of the bed. An unease settled over me as he stood mere milometer's away. "And how long have we been…er…together?" I asked nervously looking down towards the ground.

"Awhile," his hand came up under my chin to grasp my face in a gentle hold, tilting my head up to look at him. "I haven't left your side since you were admitted into the hospital wing." He confessed bringing his face, his _lips_, closer towards my own.

"Sirius…"

"Shh, no more talking," and then quite firmly did he press his heated lips upon mine. The rest of his body soon followed suit, trapping me quit effectively against the cherry wood post and himself. I moaned lightly, delighted at the simple pleasure of feeling his warmth slowly consuming me. The hand that cradled my head soon caressed its way towards the back of my neck, moving upwards to grasp onto the tangled web I unfortunately called my hair.

In a move that caught me off guard Sirius pushed his body even more in to mine, his tongue coming to brush against the seam of my lips in a sudden urgency. With a gasp I opened up to feel the smooth sweep of his tongue against the inside of my mouth. This time his groan of approval reached my ears as he tore his heated lush lips off of my thoroughly ravished once to trail a path down my neck. With small nips and bites he licked and kissed the short pains he created away with a talented tongue till he had me whimpering his name.

Which caused him to stop?

Wait…what?

"Did I do something wrong?" I panted, probably completely unattractively, as I brushed away a strand of hair from my face hurriedly.

"No," he growled out after a few moments of silence before he pushed himself away from me and turned his back on me along the way.

"Okay," I replied feeling utterly unsure of what to do next. "I'm not actually sure what the problem is then. Why did you stop? I mean-" I let out a nervous laugh, feeling blood rush to my checks, "I was enjoying myself. I thought-"

"I shouldn't have done that," he said in a scolding tone more to himself than towards me. For some reason this seemed to make sense but before I could dwell on the thought he continued on. "I was taking advantage of you when you don't even know the full situation. Damnit," swiftly walking farther away from me he sent a destructive kick to our innocent love seat sofa.

"Then tell me," I said placing my hands on my chest, "talk to me. Does this have to do with you being a veela? Am I not your…intended? I can't remember what they're called-"

"Mate," came the static reply to my rushed words. A string pulled at my heart at the way his crushed and confused tone greeted me. But what kind of emotion it invoked I couldn't tell you, all I was conscious of was my feet taking me towards the man who was hunched over our abused furnisher.

"Am I not_ her_…?" he turned to look at me then, his conflicted gaze resting upon me and weighing me down.

"You are _her_,"

"Then what's the problem?" I asked feeling more than confused myself as I took a bold step closer. Reaching a hand out towards him he was quick to react, turning around at a dizzying speed and grasping my wrist tightly.

"Don't, I can't take it. You touching me it's like…it's like some kind of torture," I blinked startled and hurt by his comment. Quickly I tried to tug back my wrist so I could make a hasty retreat to anywhere but here while trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall.

"Well if I had known that I was hurting you-" I tried to explain in some sort of defense but he cut me off quite effectively by pulling me into his body.

"That's not what I meant," he told me with a pained expression.

"Then what-" his forehead came down to rest upon mine as he stared into my eyes.

"Just breathing in the same air as you... Merlin as if that weren't as bad as getting to touch your skin." He shook his head slightly, briefly closing his eyes before his intense stare was back on me, "You have the softest skin I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Yes, its torture; but it's the sweetest kind. That stirs me up from the inside out leaving me almost absolutely completely out of control." His hand came up to grasp the back of my head, pulling me in impossibly closer as his raged breaths brushed across my face.

"Sirius?" my own breathing becoming erratic at his nearness and then, abruptly, he lifted his lips to my forehead, pressing them down fiercely before walking away once more. This time he headed towards the mirror, giving the golden frame a double tap the glass slid back to allow him his exit.

"I'll be back," he called over his shoulder, giving me one last fleeting glance. And then he was gone, the mirror sliding back into place smoothly as if it never moved in the first place.

I gazed at it helplessly before flopping myself onto the sofa to my side. What the _fuck_ was that? I placed my head in my heads thinking hard at the events that just occurred. Trying to remember something, anything! Because for the life of me I knew I was on the verge of something important. I could feel it in the back of my head, trying to claw its way up to the front of my thoughts. But what? What was that feeling in my heart, that missing piece of the puzzle? I waited in silence, praying for the answer to come to me when I heard the mirror move aside. Looking over my shoulder I found my sight captured by the pretty red head that walked into my room hesitantly. And then it hit me.

"I don't like him," I turned away from her as the knowledge settled in. My words hanging in the air as shadow that hung over both of us instantly. "I don't like Sirius do I?" her eyes caught mine this time as she moved to the chair sitting kitty corner to my seat.

"No," she said shaking her head sadly, "you don't."

* * *

**A/N:** that was a longer one! I'm proud of myself, especially since I was planning on stopping at the kiss! Hehe!!! I hope you enjoyed, and once more;

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter


	6. Remember

"So basically he's been a pain in my arse for the past couple years, harassing me about dating him, and then there was a potions accident, which is why I have to be with him?" I paused, "And I had a boyfriend practically the entire time! Eugh! I knew I didn't like him for some reason." I complained with a huff, pacing the length of the room as Lily watched me anxiously.

"Pretty much. Here, why don't you come sit down and we can try and get you to remember some more things." She said to me in a sympathetic voice that made my throat tighten and eyes sting.

"Right," and then she began to list off the professor's I had once I was seated next to her, and what we had just learned in those classes. In truth it was doing some good, those simple facts helped me to remember things. But it didn't matter in the slightly. I was completely unfocused, and I couldn't keep my mind off of the kiss Sirius and I had shared. It felt to good to be so completely wrong.

"Are you listening to me?" asked Lily's shrill voice, snapping me out of my reverie.

"Sorry," I responded sheepishly, "I remember that we've just been starting that lecture on the troll revolution for Professor Binn's class, and Michael Flint drooled all over his assignment during class." Lily smiled excitedly at my returning memory before we both shared a look of disgust.

"He's such a pig!" Lily exclaimed before we both busted out in giggles, and for that moment it was like nothing was wrong. I wasn't being forced to be with someone, I had never lost my memory, and I most certainly hadn't snogged Sirius Black. "Ryleigh?" Lily asked, after we had calmed, in a small voice.

"Yea?"

"Do you remember how the potion accident happened? It's just, in the hospital wing the other day…you mentioned James being a part of it." Her hands fisted the material of her school skirt tightly as she awaited my reply. My eyes softened as I gazed at her.

"No, I still can't remember that. But I do remember the time Sirius charmed my hair green." My nose scrunched in distaste. "Prat" I mumbled under my breath.

"Of course," she said shaking her head with a sad smile on her lips, "it was silly of me to even ask."

"Maybe," I chewed my bottom of my lip in concentration, "maybe we could go to the potions room where it happened. I mean, you saying and telling me things helped to jog my memory. Maybe actually seeing where it happened will help me remember." Her face lit up momentarily before her protests began.

"I promised Sirius we wouldn't leave,"

"What! Why would you do a thing like that?" I said reaching over to slap her arm, "And who the hell does he think he is? My keeper?"

"Stop being so over dramatic you twit," Lily exclaimed batting my hand away. "He has a good reason for not wanting you to be wandering around."

"Oh and I'd just love to hear them, please, do explain." crossing my arms over my chest I stared at Lily hard who only rolled her eyes.

"Well, first off, you were just _severely_ injured after you fell off your broom and into the forbidden forest. With the evidence of the incident still etched all over you with your baggy eyes and scarred stomach."

"My eyes are baggy?" I interrupted worriedly.

"Nothing that can't be fixed- number two has to be the fact that the biggest drama just went down in Hogwarts history between you and Sirius, and everyone knows. All the girls in this school hate you because of what you put the pathetic little prat through and now, and this is the best part, now you are with him. You are with him _indefinitely_. So the lynching mob is probably standing by in the corridor as we speak with their pitch forks and torches." We sat in silence for a few moments as she inspected her nails calmly allowing the words to sink in.

"You may have a point." I finally conceded. "But I don't want to stay in this room, and I want to remember what happened. I need to _remember _Lils." So I can forget about our kiss and remember why I hate him. "Can't we do some sort of sneak operation?"

"I really don't think it's a good idea,"

"But I'll finally be able to tell you what Potter did," I pleaded scooting closer to her.

"Oh and how would you suggest sneaking past all the girls in this school without being jumped? That's a good 7 floors we have to go down to get to that room!" think, think, think…

"A disillusionment charm?" I suggested hesitantly. As her eyes widened I knew I struck galleons. "Come on Lil, you're the smartest witch in our generation. You can do it."

"Well," she licked her lips in anticipation, "I have been doing some light reading on some of the advanced charms."

"Excellent! You think you can pull it off on me? I can trail behind you." I asked eagerly.

"Oh Ryleigh I've never tried it before, I'm really not sure if I can do it!" she cried.

"Well there's got to be something else then," this time it was Lily who rose and paced the room.

"Oh! Oh I know! A notice-me-not spell. Yes, stand up, come on, who knows when your keeper will be back." Lily brandished her wand with a smirk.

"Keeper my arse," and before the words left my mouth she had cast the spell. "Right then, did it work?"

Lily looked around befuddled for a second before nodding confidently to herself.

"Follow me," she said in a clear voice and we left my new chambers and headed off downwards toward the dungeons.

"I should have grabbed my thicker cloak, and could you not walk so fast," I hissed near Lily's ear as we made our way past a noisy group of 3rd year Ravenclaws. Her lack of response made me realize that maybe her spell might have been a little too good and suddenly I was lagging behind. With a stitch in my side I tried limping along a bit faster, at least fast enough to keep the red head in my sight. This distance was kept through the remainder of our journey until the last staircase.

I had to pause to catch my breath when I truly started to feel the deep chill that exuded from the walls creep into my skin. Why hadn't I brought my thicker cloak? The dungeons are the worst part of the bloody castle. And yet, even worse than that was that the pain medication was starting to wear off. This kind of work out was seriously wracking havoc on my body. Then, of course because something worse always has to happen, a group of high pitched chattering echoed off the stone walls. I pressed myself against the wall and started making my way towards a suit of armor when a herd of Slytherin girls came rushing up the stairs. I held my breath, not wanting to make a sound, and was lucky enough that the spell stayed intact. They girls passed and swiftly I started making my way down again. It was more important than ever to get to that damn potions room. I didn't think I could make it past another group of snakes.

Finally I reached the room, Lily waiting impatiently in there, saying my name in a harsh whisper with her wand ready. I said her name, but when she didn't turn my way I knew the spell was still in effect. Thinking quickly I moved towards a cabinet and pushed one of the glass jars filled with salamander tails to the ground. It shattered and she whipped around in my direction. With wide arch's she repeated the counter-spell and once more I was visible.

"I've been waiting in here for the past seven minutes!"

"You walk too fast!" I countered, "And hello! I am slightly sore from my fall,"

"Well I told you-"

"Wait." I interrupted softly as my eyes settled unknowingly on the table where the boys had been making the potion.

"What is it?" Lily asked concerned.

"That's where they were making the potion, I remember," and as quickly as a flash flood memories of the dreaded event and past few days suddenly came back to me. Watching Sirius hurt James, refusing the Headmaster, being exiled and hunted by the school. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths as the emotion of the past few days overwhelmed me. Then wiry arms wrapped around me, rubbing my back softly as soft sobs escaped my lips.

"It'll be alright, shh," Lily whispered.

"No it won't," I rasped out pulling back, "he's ruined my entire life. He took away every choice, and opportunity. How am I suppose to learn and discover things about myself to make me grow up if I have him breathing down my neck and shielding me from the world at every chance? I don't even like him!" I wiped the tears from my check in frustration, "The only reason I said yes to that stupid oaf is because I didn't want to wind up in Askaban for the rest of my life!"

Lily stayed silent, her face going pale at my declaration and for a moment we stood in a tense silence.

"Tell me how you really feel Crosse," said a rumbling deep voice from behind me. Goosebumps erupted across my freezing flesh as I stood rigid. "Beat it Evans," and Lily scampered past me and out the door shooting me an apologetic look.

"What a friend you are," I hissed at her, but she didn't even spare me an extra glance. The door shut after a moment with a resounding thud before Sirius spoke again.

"Nothing to say?" he questioned in a dark voice.

"Actually I do," I said pulling on my Gryffindor courage, "my last boyfriend was a much better kisser than you." Sirius' eyes darkened and immediately he was standing in front of me, a firm grip on my upper arms. "Let go of me!" I yelped starting to struggle, albeit weakly, in his hold. He stared down at me hard before looking towards the ceiling and heaving a big sigh.

"We'll discuss this in our room," he finally said and then swung an arm down towards my legs. Sweeping me off my feet quite literally he proceeded to carry me out of the potions room.

"Like hell we will," I grumbled and began wiggling around in his hold.

"Stop fighting me," he growled down at me while giving me a shake. I squeezed my eyes shut as my tears from only just minutes ago began to resurface. A feeling of defeat started to build within my chest and suddenly I broke. "Don't…don't cry, please." He said slowly his pace slowing dramatically as he stared down at me. And then I did something that neither of us expected. I turned in towards his warm body and hide my face on his shoulder, throwing my arm around his neck in the process. "Ryleigh…aw come on now." He lowered my feet to the ground so I was standing instead of cradled in his arms, but I didn't move my head or arm from their position. "Don't cry love, please, I can't stand to see you upset." But I could only shake my head in response, and so he hoisted me back up into his arms and we continued on our way.

Once we reached our room he set me down on our bed. I had calmed down considerably but my feelings hadn't changed.

"We need to talk about us," Sirius said lowly as he leaned against a bedpost, his gaze still intensely upon me.

"Where's my medicine?" I asked softly, ignoring his question. I didn't even see him move before he was in front of me with a few small bottles of disgusting looking liquid. But I didn't complain this time, I simply grabbed bottle after bottle and threw them back one after the other.

"Ryleigh-" he began.

"No." I said in a strong voice, and finally meeting his gaze head on. "No I do not want to talk about this horrible situation you've put us in. I'm tired, I'm cold, and I feel like absolute shite. Talking to you isn't going to do me any better so I'm changing into some pajama's and going to bed." With pursed lips he watched me fetch my cloths and go into the bathroom to change. Yet, of course, Sirius being Sirius, just as I was removing my shirt he came walking in.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" I screamed grabbing my shirt and covering it over my bra clad chest.

"What do you mean that prick you dated was a better kisser than me!" he shouted back, pointing an accusing finger at me that left my mouth agape.

"You have got to be kidding me. _Get. Out_!" he came up to me swiftly yanking me towards him.

"I'll have you know plenty of girls would love to be in your position right now-"

"Well I'm not one of them. I don't want this, I don't want you-"

"I love you!" he roared over our argument. I stilled completely breathing heavily as he captured my eyes with his own.

"Sirius…" I slowly shook my head, not able to find the right words to get me out of this awkward situation.

"I do," he said desperately trying to hold my eyes again. His head dropped and suddenly he fell to his knees. "I love you." His head rested right below my breasts on my abdomen, and one arm wrapped around my waist while the other snaked its way around the back of my thigh. "And I'm sorry about this," his lips ghosted over the pale scar on my abdomen where I had been pierced by the large branch. "I promise I won't let anything like this happen to you again. I'll protect you even if it costs me my life." He sighed helplessly, "I just want you to feel what I feel for you, _so badly_." He stopped then, and I felt his warm tears on my stomach, and his body shaking lightly.

This time it was I who raised my head to the sky, asking whoever was up there to help me, somehow, get through this. When no answer arrived I merely placed a hand on top of his head and stroked his silky hair.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know it's been awhile but I'm just starting on my Christmas break and I don't have any homework to do!!! So expect so more chapter through the rest of December up until early January!!!!! Oh by the way, still don't own any of these wonderful characters, besides Ryleigh of course


	7. Please, Never, Stop

The hot sensation of smooth lips gliding over my neck summoned my attention from my light sleep. Along with the feeling of teeth and tongue manipulating my sensitive skin. I was practically melting at the sweet sensation. That was until I opened my eyes, letting them adjust to the darkness, and I realized where I was, whose arm was wrapped leisurely underneath my modest bust. Feeling suddenly overwhelmed I shot up into a sitting position. Almost immediately I was acutely aware of the small sheen of sweat covering my skin, and the most in ignorable throbbing right between my-

"Dreaming of me love?" the words murmured over the naked skin of my shoulder.

"…" anxiousness spread through me as I swiftly scrambled over to the far end of the bed, which was backed up against the wall. My breathing was steadily slowing down, and as I patted down my mused hair I composed myself; as best I could. "No." I said with a very forced scoff.

"Then why did you _moan_ my name?" he asked sitting up some to rest on his elbow.

"I did no such thing!" I hissed smacking his hand away as his fingertips reached out to graze my knee.

"Oh yes, you did," Sirius said, finally coming to sit up straight and there, even in the darkness, his eyes seemed to be able to capture mine. Dutifully I looked away.

"I did not. You're such a liar Sirius Black." I fumed. But in the silence that followed I couldn't shake the memories of the dream that had shaken me so much.

_His lips trailed an inferno across my neck and over my collar bone. Down, down, and further still till I could feel his calloused hands sliding up my uniform skirt. His moist breath further soaking my already wet-_

"Don't bother denying it love. I can smell your-" he smirked discretely letting his hair fall over his eyes somewhat, "_arousal_."

I gasped. I couldn't help it, that or the blush that immediately stained my skin. Quickly I grabbed the nearest pillow and sent it hurling towards the veela's head.

"You're mad!" I screeched as I started to scramble out of the large bed. He was on me in a moment. In a tangle of sheets and limbs he had me pinned down to the bed.

"Allow me to let you in on a little known fact about my kind _dear_. I can see better, run faster, take on ten wizards without so much as bruise marring me, and if I so wished, I could spot you out in a crowd of ten thousand with my eyes closed. So do believe me when I tell you that I can smell your _desire_, taste it in the air. And you taste like a warm aphrodisiac, tantalizing every sense I possess." He paused a moment a low growl admitting from his parted lips, "I could literally devour you." His eyes darkened throughout his passionate proclamation and I wondered what happened to the confused and beaten man in the bathroom only hours ago.

"Get off of me," I said quietly. But the feral grin that slowly curled his lips frightened me and I couldn't help but shiver in response. Another gasp fell from my lips as he bent his head down and dived down towards my lips. It was obvious he mistook my reaction and I instantly stiffened in response to his attack. Once more a low and deep rumble shook his hard chest, vibrating against my own softer one, and from his lips to mine.

"Don't tell me this isn't what you wanted," he said in a taunting voice, his teeth taking hold of my lower lip. He nibbled mercilessly at it for a moments time before releasing the swollen lip and moving a hand down my side with determination.

"Please," I choked out, fighting against my erratic nerves that pulsed with satisfaction at his touch. "stop." His strong hand held at where it was, and his body above mine stilled as well.

"You're telling me to stop, but your body-" his grip on my lower hip suddenly tightened and a knee thrust in between my own to legs so he could grind his…_arousal_ against mine. I moaned despite myself, my head falling towards the side as I silently cursed my traitorous body. I swore in that moment if it had my body been a person I never would have spoken to them again. "your body tells me never stop." I could feel frustrated tears well up in my eyes.

"I said stop!" I shouted, suddenly finding strength and pushing him off me. "Don't you ever touch me like that again!" my enraged voice filled the room as I squeezed my eyes tightly shut. "I said to stop and you-you just…what gives you the right to do that, huh? I said stop. What was unclear about that?" my eyes shot open as I glared at him full heartedly. Sirius looked away from me guilt etched across his face.

"I'm sorry, these feelings and the senses I have. Everything is so enhanced." He cast a truly apologetic glance at me before bowing his head. "It won't happen again." He told me thickly, "not without your permission."

A tense silence followed his promise but I held onto the hurt and anger with clenched fists that wrinkled the sheets in my hands. "Get out," his eyes flashed a deeply painful expression before moving off the bed.

"I can't leave you for so long,"

"Too bad," I said to him harshly.

"No, Raleigh, I literally can't be away from you for that many hours. Because we haven't fully completed-"

"Then just get out of my site, sleep in the bathroom, in the bathtub! I don't give a damn just leave me be," and without another word he took a pillow, and a blanket off the couch, on his way to the bathroom. Moving back up to the top of the bed, I slipped under the covers silently before small sobs shook my aching body. It had been too real, the dream, and then the actual feel of his lips. The fact that my body had reacted to his touch in such a way made me sick and absolutely terrified.

I had liked it.

I couldn't let something like this happen again. I couldn't let the chemistry of our bodies together cloud me again. This was business. I saved his life he would save mine. It was a win-win. That didn't mean any other non-sense such as love or lust needed to interfere with the transaction. And yet the actual transaction would be a _physical_ act of pleasure. Something that would most probably be filled with lust…

My sobbing quieted and stilled as exhaustion swept over my entire being. Maybe the lust was unavoidable. But loving? I could keep that hidden behind steel walls. He could have my body, just not my heart. I would make damn sure of that.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything like that mmmk? Got it?**

**A/N:** I hope everyone had a great Holiday!!! && I wish you all a great New Year!!! I had a pretty good year this year but I'm hoping something big will in 2010.

p.s. does anyone else feel supremely old that a decade has gone by. I'm 20! I feel so old!!


	8. 7:08

I woke up in bed alone, the feeling wasn't new to me and yet I felt a small pang of disappointment noticing the half empty bed. Rolling over onto my side I glanced at the alarm clock to my right: 7:08 a.m. It would be clamoring away in about 25 minutes and the debate to get up or stay in bed wasn't hard to decide between. Flopping back onto my back I let my eyes shut only to find my precious sleep evading my attempts. With some effort I got out of the comfortable bed and went to the bathroom so as to start my morning routine.

Now, while being only semi conscious I still remembered in time to knock on the door, just barely recalling where I had sent my distraught veela earlier that morning. No answer. I crossed my legs awkwardly and bit my lip, knocking louder on the door. Nothing. Releasing a frustrated sigh I raised my fist high, ready to bang on the door so loudly the castle would be able to hear, when the door flung open. Black stood clad in only a towel draped lazily about his waist, with another in his hand rubbing vigorously at his head.

"Morning love," he said with a small grin. Taking advantage of my dazed form he leaned forward quickly and placed a kiss on my jaw near my ear. His grin grew wider as he swiftly retreated back. I controlled the delayed contented sigh that tried to escape my lips and focused in on my mission.

"Move, I have to use the loo," he raised an eyebrow and swept his arm to the side in an exaggerated manner that I hardly had time for. Walking briskly into the bathroom I wasn't surprised to hear the door shut behind me. A glance over my shoulder stopped me in my tracks though. "What are you doing!" the outraged voice I heard in my head came out in a higher pitch. I blamed on the acoustics in the spacious bathroom.

"Oh you wanted me to go while you use the loo?" he asked cheekily.

"Get out you great git! Don't you dare think I've forgotten about last night and think that I want you in here with me now!" I reprimanded fiercely. He paled and his grin completely dropped off his face. It only took him a moment to recover from my words, his back straightening while gaving me a stiff nod in agreement. He left with the door shutting softly behind him and leaving me to my business.

xx

I was out in less than 30 minutes, a large feat for me as I did enjoy long showers, much to my past roommates chagrins.

"Bollocks" I cursed dripping wet with a large towel wrapped around me. My wand and clothes were left out in the main quarters and I had no idea where Black actually was. Taking a deep breath I steeled myself and walked outside the safety of the bathroom and went to grab my essentials.

"Forget something?" asked Black immediately as I entered the room, "or have you suddenly changed your mind from last night and want me to devour you?" even from his distance halfway across the room I could see his eyes darkening, the air around us thickening.

"I just need to grab my wand and my clothes. Nothing more, and no, I haven't changed my mind." I quickly moved about the room, grabbing my wand and then heading towards the wardrobe to grab my uniform. I was about to close the doors shut but I was shocked to see all the rest of my clothes hanging up or folded inside. I bit my tongue at the knowledge and walked quickly back to the bathroom. Once made up I resurfaced in our common living area, Black still there now munching on some toast. And then I noticed more breakfast foods spread out on the small table in between the couch and chair.

"Sit. Eat." He said gesturing towards the food as he picked up The Profit and started reading an article. I sat. I did not eat however.

"So I take it you're not going to eat in the Great Hall this morning?" I questioned after a short silence. His eyes stared into mine.

"No, _we're _not. We'll be taking our meals in here from now on." I blinked.

"Pardon?"

"Raleigh don't question this, alright?" he said gripping his paper tightly, "I can't have you even be near other males until you are completely mine. It's really not that hard to understand. And until we do finish the process you'll be staying put in here." His tone didn't leave much room for argument but somehow I managed.

"Just who do you think you are telling me what to do?" I yelled outraged standing up.

"Your _mate_. And while I understand and respect your need for physical space I can't uphold my needs for too much longer. Keep that in mind witch."

"So what you just expect me to stay in here docilely until you can't control your urges anymore and mark me like some brute!"

"You made the decision to be with me! To be _mine_." Black growled.

"I made the choice to stay alive-"

"You made the choice to stay alive, with me, till the day you die."

"Well for some reason Azkaban and the Kiss didn't seem as appealing," roughly I swiped at my cheeks, where tears had spilled quite suddenly. Black was by my side in a second, letting his fingers take over the job silently.

"You'll learn to love me," he told me softly and desperately.

"You can't force someone to love you,"

"No, no, no, no- I didn't say that. I said you'd learn. I'm not going to force you. I would never." He shook his head vehemently. When I didn't respond and my tears persisted he pulled me closer to him. Wrapping an arm securely around me, he rubbed small soothing circles across my covered flesh. "I'll grow on you. My charm, my dashing good looks, my wit. I've been told I'm quite funny too." I laughed slightly despite myself. "I know you don't want to be stuck here, but any boy in this school, student or professor who comes near you, will have to deal with a veela's wrath."

"And what exactly is that? A _veela's wrath_" I said calming and sitting down. I swiped a piece of thick bacon and began nibbling on it, waiting for his explanation. He shot me a grin that I rarely saw and my heart gave a sudden lurch, dragonflies erupting in my stomach. Well that wasn't a good development. Shoving the rest of the bacon in my mouth I scolded myself thoroughly in my head. I was building a wall! No love, just sex and lust. No. Love.

"Well, since you'll be staying in today I have a few books you can read about veela's. Some our journals others just books, you know of facts and-erm stuff." He ruffled his hair slightly and went to fetch the books as I started to fill a plate with more breakfast foods.

"What am I suppose to do about my studies exactly?" I asked once he returned.

"I'll bring you your assignments. And now, as I much as I don't want to, I've got to go and get to class." He said to me, clearly disliking this fact.

"Right then, off you go I suppose." I said with a forced smile that came out easier than I thought.

"You must know that I don't want to leave you." He said fiercely, grasping my hands that still held a half eaten strawberry clasped tightly by my fingers. "It physically pains me to leave your side knowing that you aren't fully mine yet, not trusting anyone to be near you… I love you. And I want you. All I'm asking is that you just give me a chance. Something, anything, a crumb even. But please don't deny me the simple things like holding you, or kissing you. They keep me sane." Slowly he let go of my hands as I tugged them back towards me, yet his eyes never left my own. The words seeped in sluggishly until I finally turned my head away and brought my forgotten food to my parted lips

"You're going to be late for class," I murmured before slipping the strawberry into my mouth. I chewed and swallowed before turning to look back at his reaction at my dismissal. I didn't expect to see such evident disappointment oh his face, but he quickly replaced it with determination. Before I had a chance to protest or anything else for that matter, he kissed my stained lips. His tongue darting out to have a taste of my breakfast before pulling away.

"I'll see you at lunch then. I only hope it's as good as breakfast was." He said licking his lips and sending me a wink. He was gone after another lingering kiss on my lips.

Black had kissed me three times this morning. And he had dropped a huge amount of information on me, which I resolutely decided to try and follow by staying in our room. Only because he had promised to put forth an effort not to put me into any situations like the previous night again without my consent. But even with all the events of the morning that had taken place that left me confused and flustered one knowledge hung over my head like a rain cloud. I could have slept in!

Curse Merlin and his long beard along with Sirius Black! I was going back to bed, and this time I would go back to sleep. Right after I finished my breaky, that is!

* * *

A/N: Nothing Harry Potter belongs to me, miss Raleigh however is another matter. :D

I hope all your new years were great, mine was pretty decent, got a new years kiss in AND 2 phone numbers (which I will never use and have already deleted from my phone). Please feel free to review they actually make me update sooner believe it or not!


	9. Wondering

A/N: Soooo I've noticed after rereading that I've spelled Ryleigh/Raleigh's name every which way, so I'm just gonna set a name, mmk? I'm going to spell it with a Y from now on.

* * *

Something was poking me. Something was poking my shoulder hard. And whatever that something was, it was kind of sharp and was really starting to hurt. Sluggishly I swatted my hand around at the unidentifiable something in hopes it would leave me to my slumber. A squawking noise rebuked me immediately and startled me awake. Sitting up straight, I heard the sound of wings flapping as a large brown school owl flew back from me in alarm.

"Serves you right, damn bird." I grumbled as it flew back towards me and landed on my lap. As quickly as I could I unbound the letter from the grieved birds' leg. "Go on now!" I told it firmly, watching as it departed through a high window in the room, before I unrolled the letter.

_Ryleigh,_

_I just wanted to say I'm sorry about yesterday, I realize I was a rubbish friend for leaving you there to deal with Black by yourself. But you didn't see him when he first entered the room Ry! The air around him looked like it was shaking he was so livid! It was absolutely the scariest thing I've ever seen, besides Tunie and Vernon groping on the couch last summer. _

_Anyway, the whole reason for this letter is to apologize on my appalling behavior as a good mate. I was just starting to become so invested in James, and then all of this happened. I couldn't find you anywhere and only heard his side of the story. I should have known better to just believe his side of the story without hearing yours, but I know I was wrong in the way I treated you that day in the hospital. And me leaving you alone with him, not standing up to him for you, was just an absolute shite thing for me to do to you._

_Do you think you'll ever forgive? I can hardly express how sorry I am, but know that if you can find it in your heart, I'll treat you for a Honeydukes shopping spree next weekend? I'll earn your love and devotion back with millions of chocolate frogs!_

_But all joking aside Ryleigh, I am sorry._

_Lily_

_p.s. Sirius said I'm not allowed to come by anymore. BUT if you do end up forgiving me at some point maybe you could tell him to bugger off and let me back up? I just want my best mate back, and I want to start being there for you, I know you're going through a really difficult time._

_Loads of extra love!_

I sniffed a bit, rereading the letter one more time through before flopping back down into the comfort of pillows. Tears welled in my eyes as the minutes passed. I didn't want to be mad at Lily when she was my best mate, but I couldn't help but still feel bitter about the role she had been playing this entire time. And yet, I wanted someone so desperately on my side. I wanted my best mate, so maybe once we talked in person we could settle it all out. With a sigh, my tears faded only to be replaced by anger and resentment. How could I ever look at Remus the same way? Of course Potter I would most likely always loathe, even if he was with my best mate, but Remus? Kind and gentle Remus, who was always nice to me?

I let out a frustrated moan as I instinctively tried to place myself in his shoes. I understood that he was more Black's friend than mine on any given day, but I had never seen Remus be that cruel to anyone. He had always been the most level-headed of the group. Shaking my head, I rolled out of bed, stretching my sore body as I made my way over to our small living room area. I didn't want to dwell on the Marauders too much.

Books were spread across the table but I couldn't help it as my mind wandered to my completely _fucked up _life. I was feeling so many emotions how could I possibly focus on reading? I felt angry most of all, not to mention utterly jaded, and definitely sad. I could feel the depressed and confused emotions run havoc over my already weakened body. It was giving me a headache.

Speaking of headaches, what was with Black's mood swings? Possessive, to guilt-ridden, then lust filled fiend? Could a person be tri-polar? Maybe it was the veela thing messing with him. I glanced at the books sitting before me at the thought. I suppose that the books might help make it possible to understand what he was feeling a bit more, but then again, he came across his veela traits in a unique situation. A very not cool unique situation if I do say so myself. Too bad I was not feeling up to the task of research. With a huge sigh I draped myself more fully across the chair I was seated on, swinging a leg over the arm of the chair.

And that was how Black found me.

A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as he walked over to me, "What are you doing?"

"Draping. Obviously." I said with a scoff. I reached around where he stood in front of me to grab one of the books.

"Learn anything new?" he asked, sitting on the ledge of the small table.

"I did. We need to lock that window up there or unwanted guests will just fly right in." I said nonchalantly as I flipped through the pages of the thick book.

"Anything else?"

"No."

An awkward silence ensued.

"You didn't read anything? It's past noon Ryleigh." He said in a frustrated tone.

"I just woke up, but honestly, how much of this pile did you expect me to read?" I said finally looking at him.

"I wasn't expecting anything," he said is a tired voice, running his hand through his hair. "I was _hoping_ though, that you would at least make an effort. At least try to…"he let his sentence fall shaking his head and looking away.

And let the guilt settle in —now!

"It's not that I'm not trying to make an effort—it's just that," I let out a deep breath and sat straight, contemplating what to say. "Bl-Sirius. To be completely honest with you, the only thing I've done since I've gotten up is think about this entire situation, and what I've come up with is that I am still mad at you." I said lightly, "And as much as I fully comprehend that this is it, you are it for me. That this life will be it…" I choked up a bit at the sentiment but forged on, "But that doesn't mean I have to like it. I didn't read anything today because I went back to bed right after you left, not because I wasn't making an effort. I'll try and read _some_, not all of these humongous books, because I think I'll feel better about the situation after knowing what I'm dealing with. _Maybe_, that is not a guarantee Sirius Black. And…and maybe you need to read some of these books too, because the way you have been acting is ridiculous and quite rude at times. And, erm -yeah. That's all."

"You sure?" he said with a somber expression.

"No, but it's all I have for now."

"I'm sorry that my emotions are throwing you for a loop." He said reaching out to grasp hold of my hand, "But they are throwing me for a loop too. As for some of the things you first said, I won't respond to now, but know that it upsets me that you feel that way." I bit my lip and nodded.

"Is that all?"

"No," he said with a small smile, "I want to make a deal with you. I'll read one of these monsters, if you do. Just one, I'm sure they all say the same thing—"

"Then why did you get all of these?" I said with a small laugh.

"I don't know," he tossed his head a bit to toss the hair out of his face, "just wasn't sure how many you'd want, or might need." Then he gifted me with a brilliant smile, that I hated to admit left me slightly breathless.

"Well I think one each will be enough." I said softly.

"So are you going to read that one?" he asked, indicating the one in my lap.

"Absolutely not, have you seen the size of this. That's way too much reading for me." Black nodded his head towards the table, with a roll of my eyes I found one of the considerably smaller books and bestowed him with a condescending smile. "Happy?"

He reached into the pile and picked his own. "Moderately, I could be happier though." With a not so subtle glance at my lips I fought the blush rising to my face.

"No kissing." He deflated almost immediately and I could tell he was depressed. For a moment I felt a tug a my heart, not liking seeing him upset, but I pushed it aside. "But maybe I can compromise with reading on the couch with you. I'll even let you keep holding my hand." Once the words were out of my mouth I was immediately pulled from the chair I was in and over to the couch. "Merlin you're fast!" I exclaimed once I found myself sitting on the couch with my legs across Black's lap in no time at all.

"Wonder if that's something they'll talk about in this?" he flipped open to the first page of his book and began reading, one hand holding his book, the other resting on my leg. His fingers gently stroked bare legs as I too flipped open to the first page of my book. But my thoughts weren't exactly on what I was reading. To be honest I was more worried about the stubble on my legs, but when Black continued to stay silent, and lightly stroke my legs I found my worry disappear. This was giving it a chance right?


	10. Avid Reader

**A/N:** did I ever mention I don't own any of J.K.'s character? I don't.

* * *

"So you really do have advanced hearing, smell, and sight."

"Yeah," Sirius murmured.

"Is it strange?" I asked setting my book down and rubbing my sore eyes.

"What was that?" Black asked looking towards me.

"Is it strange?"

"Is what strange?" Frustrated, I blew out a long stream of air.

"For all your superior hearing, you sure suck at listening." He shot me an impish grin and gave my knee a squeeze.

"Sorry love, mind repeating the question for me. I'm all ears now."

"I just wanted to know if it's strange at all,"

He looked pensive for a moment before giving me a good natured shake of the head. "Nah, it was a pretty easy transition, a bit overwhelming at first, but nothing more than that. If anything its more my emotions, but I suppose you read about that. The whole I am connected to you, and vice versa deal."

"Well, just you connected to me for now; I won't really be connected to you as fully until…" I could feel my cheeks flush suddenly and quickly changed the subject, "I feel like I didn't learn anything to interesting in this book, it was all veela's originated here, and they are good looking with all these special capabilities." I tucked my legs in underneath me.

"Sounds like we were reading the same book," Black shifted a bit, eyeing the pile of books. "but I think there might be a book in there that may have some better information."

"Oh?" I eyed the pile of books surreptitiously. "Which one?"

Black stood up and stretched, making his way over to the exit. "It's a leather bound one, and it's pretty small in size. You'll know which one it is."

"Where are you going?" I asked sitting up and staring wide eyed at him.

"I have to go,"

"Where?" my tone more demanding as I sat up on my knees, giving him an incredulous book. "What happened to the whole getting through this thing together? And you needing physical contact to keep you sane?" I finished with a pout. "If you leave, I can leave!"

"I'm not trying to get out of reading, or get out of touching you, because we both know I could touch you all day long," he said flashing me a wink, "but the book in question is one that you have to read on your own." And with that he slipped out of the door.

"Jerk!" I yelled, going over to the door and trying to get out. "You prick Black, unlock this door! Or better yet, get your ass back in here!" no reply. I marched my way back over to the couch and through myself down onto it. I couldn't believe he left me in here to read by myself, this blasted room was getting on my last nerve!

Finishing my minor tantrum I sat up, and pushed around the pile of books. "Where are you…" I sang. Slightly off key. The leather bound book was at the bottom of the pile, hidden. For some reason I was hesitant to reach out towards the book, a sudden feeling of unease incasing me.

"Pull yourself together girl," shaking myself I reached out and snatched the book off the table. "It's just a boo—"


	11. A New Type of Book

**A/N**: I don't own Harry Potter. Sad ]:

* * *

"What the _fuck_" I said to no one in particular as I lay uncomfortably on the ground. "Oww," sitting up I rubbed my elbow as I surveyed my surrounding. Large, semi-drafty room with a huge canopy bed decorated in creams and purples. Well this certainly wasn't any room at Hogwarts, the out-of-date furnishings certainly affirmed that much. Standing up I finally noticed the wretched leather bound book off to my right. "What in the bleeding hell are you?" Flipping open the book I let out a small gasp. "Seriously?" I cried in exasperation. Nothing was written on the pages, or wait— something was beginning to surface, as well as a voice from outside the door to my left.

"Dolores I want a warm bath water brought up immediately for a late night soak. And don't bother staying to help me undress, just bring up the water as quickly as possible. You can throw out the dirty water in the morning. Until tomorrow then— Oh and _do_ allow me to sleep in later than usual, I cannot stand to be waken before half past 8. Good night."

My eyes widened in fright as the door to the room opened and the words on the page continued to document the scene at hand. The girl who walked in looked around my age, give or take a year. I regarded her face in a stunned silent. She was very striking with her pert nose and sharp cheek bones. Her dark hair was pinned up high on top of her head, holding a mass of curly locks. But what was peculiar was how she had her face pressed against the side of the door. Then I heard the faint sound of footsteps as they traveled further away.

"Thank heavens" the girl said and swiftly locked the door before hurried towards me with a very determined look.

"I am so sorry. I have no idea how I even got here, and I really didn't mean to— " but the girl paid me no mind as I began to plead my case. Instead she dropped to her knees mere inches in front of me and reached below the canopy bed. "Um, hello?" I crawled over towards her side. "Hey, I'm speaking to you here, what am I invisible or something?" my hand reached out to her instinctively, preparing to attain her attention through physical means, but my fingers slipped through her shoulder like a ghosts.

She gasped loudly at my translucent touch, her head snapping to look at me directly. I held my breath, but her wandering eyes and the way she tentatively went back to digging beneath the bed calmed me. I was invisible to her. But what was she doing? What was she looking for? Soon enough my questions were answered as she pulled out a thin box, opening it upon her lap she reached in to retrieve a worn letter. She gazed at it with longing, and my curiosity itched to be satisfied. Walking to stand behind her, which conveniently led my invisible body to walk through the bed, I read over her shoulder.

_My Dearest Eleanor,_

_While I have been gone for several weeks, my heart feels as if I haven't looked upon your heavenly face for years. I yearn whole heartedly for the sight of your luminous eyes, and your dark bounty of curls. Do you have any idea how much I miss you? At night, I cannot sleep because my mind devotedly thinks of only you — but I would rather think only of you for the rest of my days then pass the night asleep. You must know that my feelings for you cannot be questioned, my unwavering devotion never doubted, which is why my heart breaks at the news of your recent engagement._

_I have been constant in my thoughts about how to save you from this ominous duty. Thankfully, I have found a solution. Meet me on the night of the next full moon, near the south side of your properties pond at midnight._

_Forever Yours,_  
_Claude M. Avery _

"An Avery? Eugh, girl you should know better. Those men are vermin." I said upon completion. Eleanor heaved a very large sigh that seemed impossible to be drawn by such a petit girl. A clock, located somewhere outside the room chimed eleven times in the distance.

"Oh dear how could it have become so late?" she whimpered and hastily put the letter back into the box and under the bed. In a moment she was on her feet and a knock on the door signaled her bath water. "Come in, come in! Hurry now, yes just pour it in the bath straight away and go off to your own beds." a line of servants scampered in and out of the room as quickly as house elves, pouring in pitchers of steaming water before departing in haste. Eleanor stood by the door, and as the last servant left she closed and locked the door behind them. She scampered about her room in a flurry then, extinguishing candelabra's placed around the room for necessary light, until the room was quite dim and only 2 remained.

Once more Eleanor dropped down onto her hands and knees at the other end of the bed, searching beneath it. "Where the devil, is it? Ah ha!" with a triumphant smile she emerged with a long piece of tied cloth. With some persistence she proceeded to pull out more and more of the cloth rope.

"You are insane," I said to myself as she dunked the rope into the tub of water and before dragging it out. She tugged on the several knotted ends to check their strength. Maybe she wasn't so insane, wet clothes seemed harder to tear than dry ones. And then she was securing one end of her make shift rope to a post on her bed and throwing the other out her window. I hustled over to the scene and looked down below.

"Oh for the love of _Merlin_. What kind of book is this? How am I suppose to get down there?" no sooner had the words left my mouth when I felt a sudden sensation in my chest, that spread throughout my body. A quick flash of white light and suddenly I was by a lake, or, more accurately, a pond. Eleanor was waiting by a lone dock, searching the line of assorted greens for any sight of her man.

The moon gleamed brightly in the night sky, its full round face watching from up above. I walked over to where Eleanor stood, wringing her hands nervously together. Once more the instinct to touch her as a form of comfort became me, but I stilled my hand a hair away as he emerged from the wood line.

"Claude!" Eleanor took off the moment he dismounted his horse. She ran into his awaiting arms, and where they proceeded to be disgustingly romantic as he spun her around, kissing her passionately all the while. Apparently in book world this particular act took a good 10 minutes and was also filled with mild over the clothes touching. Was this book some sort of dirty novel? Like a Playwizard? Finally, when Eleanor and Avery found the need for oxygen to consuming they separated. Well their faces moved apart, Avery still had his arms locked tightly around her while Eleanor's hands rested delicately on his chest. If I hadn't known that her secret lover was an Avery, I might have thought this whole ordeal terribly romantic. Yet, the mere knowledge of the dark wizarding family left me anxious about the possible outcome.

"Oh Eleanor," he smiled down at her, "I've done it, I know the way to free you from the awful engagement and to be mine." he tucked a loose curl behind her ear, and then moved his hand to rest upon her shoulder, carefully playing with the strap of her gown.

"That is marvelous. Tell me Claude, I can't stand it another moment." his smile seemed to grow a bit crazed.

"Turn around," Eleanor looked puzzled but did as she was told.

"What is it Claude?"

"Hush Eleanor, and be patient for heaven's sake," he scolded lightly as his fingers nimbly started unlacing the back of her dress. My gasp mirrored Eleanor's as she turned her head in attempt to see behind her.

"What are you doing?" she asked quietly.

"Be quiet and I will explain," his fingers never stopped and a knot began to grow in the pit of my stomach. "Tomorrow evening you are to pack a few of your things and as much jewelry as possible into one bag. Anything valuable that you own must go in there, do you understand?" Eleanor nodded her consent dumbly, confusion written clearly across her features. He smirked, or maybe it was a leer now on his face, behind her back before brushing his lips across her bare shoulder. "You will tell your mother that you will not be marrying the man she has arranged you to be with, instead you will be marrying me."

"But, but she'll never adhere to that. And Claude, he's coming tomorrow for our first chaperoned luncheon." spoke Eleanor turning around to face Claude. "I don't understand how this will work," her arms moved up to rest against her chest, while keeping her dress up at the same time.

"Didn't I tell you to be _quiet_," he spoke harshly and grasped her chin tightly within his grasp. He gave her a devious smirk as she nodded weakly against his hold before kissing her roughly. "It will work. It will work because your…virtue will have become compromised, and no decent respectable man would take you as his wife if he knew what you had done." again Claude bent down to kiss her shoulder, chuckling darkly as he pushed the sleeves of her gown down farther.

"But, I'm not — I'm not ready for something like that. The consummation of marriage…well it happens after the marriage, not before. I can't, I couldn't do that." Eleanor stuttered, managing to back away from Claude a few steps.

"Don't you want to be with me? Don't you want us to have a future? It's just sex, for the love of God!" he laughed once more cruelly at her, "And I don't want any other man to have the pleasure of experiencing all that your body could give. You will do what I've said Eleanor. You'll bring with you the jewelry, and we'll have enough money to start a life somewhat comfortably. But before that, we need to address the problem of your…virginity."

"No," Eleanor whispered. The night seemed so silent after her tentative rebellion. "I don't want to have sex before marriage. Not with you, or anybody—or anybody else." by the end of her small speech she had the courage to look into his distorted face, twisted with anger. His hand was raised and striking her face before she or I could react.

"Eleanor!" I cried out, as I rushed down to her fallen form. "You monster!" I screamed up at Avery who still looked down furiously at her. His foot swung back then, and moved swiftly forward through my unnoticed body and into her unprotected side.

"You'll do what I tell you to you whore," he growled down at her. Eleanor moaned out her pain in response, grasping onto the soft cool sand below her. "Now get up, like a good girl, and tell me what you are going to do." He reached down to grab her arm but she rolled over unexpectedly, throwing two handfuls of sand into his face. Stunned and momentarily blinded Avery fell backwards onto the small land of beach, screaming his rage as Eleanor took off like a patronus. And then the tingling began to spread from my chest again, and I was blinded briefly by a glorious light.

Eleanor's room in the morning light was brilliant; everything took on a soft and delicate feature. Even Eleanor did, but the word fragile came to mind as I looked upon her thin form. She stood beside her closed window with empty red rimmed eyes. Her dress was laid neatly by the tub, whose water looked grimy and used. Slowly, she turned around as the sound of soft footsteps echoed closer to her room. Her eyes widened then, and took on a slightly panicked look. Her hand raised towards her temple, where a nasty red bump and small gash marred her appearance. As the footsteps sounded clearer her back seemed to straighten ever so slightly. Walking over to the ornate tub, she splashed a small amount of water out of it onto the floor, leaving little puddles scattered about near her dresser. And then she grasped the dresser tightly, her knuckles turning dangerously pale with her grip.

Swiftly, she brought her injured head down upon the side of the dresser. Eleanor cried out in pain as she collapsed onto the ground hopelessly, tears already rolling down her cheeks.

"Lady Eleanor!" gasped an older servant who rushed into the room. "Oh no, no, no! What has happened, let me see." She gently turned Eleanor's face and frowned in dismay. "It will be alright Lady Eleanor, hush now. We will make sure you look your best for the Duke, hush now," but her words only seemed to make her crying increase.

The scene seemed to blur then, and the book which I had been holding the entire time, vibrated softly within my hand. Another woman entered the fading room. She was finely dressed and cradled Eleanor against her chest.

It was all gone in an instant then, my new small common room laid before me along with all of the books Black had brought around. What the hell had just happened. I flipped through the pages of the book and noticed that while most of the pages were blank, the first few had been filled up with the accounts of what had just happened. Well, that was…interesting. Had this happened to Black as well? I turned to look at the clock, two hours had passed by.

Merlin's pants! I wanted answers, and I wanted them now. Unfortunately I was going to have to wait for Black to get back for any of them to be answered.


	12. Answers

**A/N:** Oh hey guys, what's going on? I'm doing rather swell myself, so I hope you enjoy this next chapter. Oh, and if you've already seemed to have forgotten...I do not own Harry Potter.

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"Where have you been?" I asked after waiting around for another hour and a half.

I had assumed a lounging position on the couch after having failed to get back into my interactive diary (which is what I had decided to deem it) for a solid forty minutes. I hung lazily upside down on the comfy couch, my legs swinging to and fro up in the air as I gave them a monumental stretch. The satisfying popping in my spine brought a smile to my face and a low groan from my lips.

"I do believe that the real question is; what are you doing?"

"Swinging my legs. _Duh_." I watched as he approached the back of the couch, wisely bidding my time as the question came to a simmer within, "So, this diary is pretty interesting, wouldn't you say?" I did my best to keep my tone collected, cool and calm but even I could detect the strain in my voice. I had definitely over done it. But Black merely shrugged his shoulders and didn't bother to acknowledge my tone. Instead, his eyes gazed over my exposed midriff. "What is that suppose to mean?"

"I haven't read it," finally his eyes met mine. I grunted my disappointment and disapproval before struggling to pull myself up a bit. Black reached out and pulled me up with (what I'm sure he assumed was) a gentle tug that had me all the way on the back ledge of the couch.

"What do you mean you haven't read it?" his hands moved to rest on my still exposed skin, distracting me only slightly as the heat of his hands warmed me. "_Sirius_,"

He met my eyes again and I could see the amusement dancing within them.

"Dumbledore gave it to me. Said you would find it very useful and other veiled words. Was he right? Have you started it?" I pouted at his answer. This was no good. I was expecting to be able to question Black non-stop about the material in the book. Or lack thereof.

"It's definitely the most interesting book I've read," I commented with a sigh.

"Right," he replied, a low chuckle following his response. And then he gave me a kiss on the nose. A blush spread across my cheeks. The nerve of this boy!

"Stop that!" I said, still annoyed by the fact that I had to go through the process of an interactive charmed diary alone. "So where were you, what were you doing?"

"I was going around to all of your classes, asking the professors about what they'll do about the work you're missing out on. I've got a few pieces of parchment with reading assignments and papers for you to work on. They were hoping to see you back in class soon, as most of the work needs to be practiced in class but I let them know the circumstances."

"That I can't attend class because you'll go crazy with me around anybody else with a — "

A low growl erupted from his throat, cutting off my sentence. The growl cut short and I could have sworn I saw a bit of color rise to Black's cheeks, but his head ducked down to swiftly for me to truly see.

"Sorry," came his mumbled apology, "I don't mean to get so possessive and jealous but—"

"It's a common trait of unmated adult veelas who have yet to mate with their partner. The trait will most likely come to an end after the mating ritual has taken place, but there is also a chance that the level of possessiveness will increase. In those rare cases it is important a deeper form of bonding accompany a second mating ritual. I was there reading with you. I know what you're feeling, at least theoretically." he gave me a tired smile, and rubbed soothing circles onto my exposed waist.

There was a peaceful moment of silence that I allowed myself to enjoy before I caught the possession of Black's gaze.

"Don't do it," I said giving him my sternest glare and attempting to wiggle back. But his eyes remained glued to my lips, and his hands anchored themselves on my waist. Black was not to be deterred, even as my hands pushed against his chest. He must have been waiting for the moment I would turn my head away from him, anticipating a kiss, so that he could attack a far more vulnerable area on my body.

A cry of surprise burst forth from me as Black placed a wet and loud raspberry against my stomach. The sly bastard! He had taken advantage of my retreat to lift up my shirt just enough to tease me mercilessly. I wiggled and squirmed against his tight embrace, and even screamed my hatred for him as my hands beat against his shoulders. But sooner, rather than later, did he have me begging for mercy as tears fell from the corners of my eyes, my stomach aching from laughter.

"Please, please! Stop!" my voice reached an impossible decibel, but my laughter followed my pleas for compassion.

"Say I'm the handsomest man in the world! And that I have a smoking body! Say it!" he pulled me flush against him, a large smile on his face and his hair falling over his eyes.

"You have got to be the least handsome man I know. As for your smokin' body, it is rather hot, but that's a natural body temperature for a veela." My cheeky words had a different type of growl rumbling from him, but before I could decode it I became very aware of how pressed to him I was. His face leaned in slightly closer to mine, or maybe it was my eyes playing tricks on me. Yet I couldn't ignore how our breath mingled together while our laughter lightened into an unnerving silence. The moment I felt the instinctive need to retreat was too late as hot lips branded themselves against mine.

I don't know who it was that groaned first, but the very audible sigh was released by me. At first he pursued my lips with a great amount of pressure, his body straining to pull me against his own more snugly. But just as suddenly as the passion came it went. His frenzied kisses calmed and he pulled his lips away from mine before I even had a chance to properly respond to the assault.

"I'm sorry," he said. His lips barely brushing against mine with each word. I shook my head, and then proceeded to nod.

"Um, it's fine," I responded slightly dazed.

"How about something to eat and then we get some rest. It's been a tiring day."

"All we've done is read Sirius,"

"Exactly," he said with a wink, but his tired eyes held a read a different story. Of course I knew what he hadn't meant that. Once a veela's mate was found it was imperative to consummate the relationship with a bonding ritual that leaves the veela's unique mark upon the mate's skin. The more time that passes by without consummating the relationship the more _unsound_ the veela is more likely to become. Exhaustion being one of the many underlining symptoms of what happens as the time goes on.

We ate a small dinner before Black decided to call it a night and crawl into bed. But I wasn't tired. I opted to read by the small light emitted by the fire, while allowing the rest of the lights to be off so he might sleep easier. I had a different veela book resting on my knees, but my gaze was held by the flickering flames. In all honesty I should have been just as exhausted by the past few days events but my body just didn't want to give out.

Switching my gaze to the worn diary at my side I pondered over its origin. I had never had too much interaction with Dumbledore until recently. But from the stories I heard, no matter how strange the advice he gave, it was always served a purpose. I had a hard time doubting that the dairy wouldn't help me in some way, but I didn't know if I was patient enough to discover what secrets it held. More importantly I didn't know if Black could hold out long enough. The option to perform the bonding ritual as soon as possible wasn't exactly appealing. Call me virginal, but I just wasn't ready, and I wasn't completely sure I would even be when the time came. All I was hoping for was the diary to help ease my worry. To give me some advice, or insight; but if it was faulty what could I do? Closing the book in my lap I tossed it aside in favor of the diary. And then…nothing.

"How do you work?" I asked aloud as quietly as possible.

I flipped through the first couple of pages wordlessly. My mind begining to roam aimlessly once more as I stared into the fire but continued to flip pages. I felt the sensation in my fingertips as soon as I got to the first blank page. Quickly my eyes sought out the words that began to seep into the page. The bright flashing light merely made me blink and before I knew it I was back with Eleanor.

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**A/N:** Let me know what you think!


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